Band 6.5 IELTS Writing Task 2 Model Answer

Overall Band Score: 6.5 · Cambridge IELTS 21 · 2026-10-08

IELTS Writing Task 2 question

Some people argue that primary schools focus too much on formal learning.

To what extent do you agree with this opinion?

How important do you think it is for children to play as well as learn in the primary school classroom?

Give reasons for your answer and include any relevant examples from your own knowledge or experience.

Student answer (Band 6.5)

A set of people opine that primary schools pay a lot of attention on formal learning. I totally agree with this opinion because students are more adaptable and focused during the early years of their lives. In spite of learning rigorously in a traditional classroom, it is equally important for school children to play different sports at the same time as it will help in enhanced physical health and better interpersonal relationships among them.

When a teacher enlightens students with knowledge about essential subjects like science, mathematics and social studies, it helps children understand the fundamentals of such topics at an early age so they can apply it in their further education or jobs. Apart from this, the discipline to sit and learn properly can be acheived by the children. For instance, the habit of sitting with a large number of students in a class while being silent and only speaking when required by the teacher has to be developed in younger students. Additionally, the constant change of subject periods will teach them how to manage a proper schedule when carrying out their tasks. Time should be devoted for various activities that young children have to do. As a result, such students will perform better in higher education as well as their occupation in the future.

Playing sports in schools or a separate playground is also quite beneficial for young children. The physical fitness of the students can be enhanced along with adequate concentration required for studies. For example, primary school children are very enthusiastic about playing. They are very difficult to convince and might even trade their time for education to play longer if they are not often allowed to do so. Therefore, teachers must set some routine for formal studies along with sports for the children to have a balanced learning experience with phyiscally fit children.This way there will be low absenteeism in the class as well. Moreover, we can see a lot of young students are struggling from obesity and mental health problems due to a packed schedule in a single classrom, indirectly leading to the inability to make friends. That is why, when children are exposed to a ground to play sports with other students of their age, it eventually results in new interactions.

To conclude, the idea of concentration on the formal learning of primary students in school is very beneficial so children can effectively implement it in the future only if sufficient time for playing is also provided to such students for improved communication skills and overall well-being.

AI examiner evaluation

Task Achievement / Task Response: Band 7.0

Your position is clear: you agree that formal learning receives substantial attention, while arguing that play should also be part of primary education. You address both questions and support your views with relevant points, including foundational subject knowledge, classroom routines, physical fitness and social interaction. The examples about learning to follow a schedule and children wanting more time to play help extend the discussion. However, some claims are broad or not fully explained—for example, that formal learning will improve future occupational performance, and that providing sports will reduce absenteeism. Clarifying how these outcomes follow from your points, and weighing more directly whether schools currently give too much emphasis to formal learning, would make the response more fully developed and precise.

Coherence and Cohesion: Band 6.5

The essay has a clear overall structure: an introduction states your view, two body paragraphs develop formal learning and play, and the conclusion restates the balanced position. Ideas generally progress logically, and linking expressions such as “Apart from this,” “For instance,” and “Moreover” help guide the reader. At times, however, the connections feel mechanical or the reference is unclear. In the play paragraph, the move from children’s enthusiasm to obesity and mental health is abrupt, and “This way” does not clearly identify which specific measure will reduce absenteeism. Some sentences also carry several related claims at once. Use clearer links between cause and effect, and divide the longer chains of ideas so each paragraph develops a more focused line of reasoning.

Lexical Resource: Band 6.0

You use an adequate range of vocabulary for the topic, including “fundamentals,” “interpersonal relationships,” “physical fitness,” and “balanced learning experience.” These choices allow you to discuss both academic and social benefits. You also attempt more formal expressions, but some are inaccurate or unnatural in context, such as “pay a lot of attention on,” “trade their time for education,” and “struggling from obesity.” There are also spelling errors, including “acheived,” “phyiscally,” and “classrom,” which reduce the accuracy of the writing. Aim for natural collocations rather than more elaborate wording: for example, schools “place emphasis on” learning, children “give up study time” to play, and people “struggle with” a problem. Proofreading would help make your vocabulary more precise.

Grammatical Range and Accuracy: Band 6.5

You use a mix of simple and complex structures, including conditional and subordinate clauses, as in “if they are not often allowed to do so” and “when children are exposed to a ground to play sports.” Most of your meaning remains clear, but some grammatical errors persist. In “it helps children understand … so they can apply it,” the pronoun “it” does not clearly agree with the plural “fundamentals”; “children … are very difficult to convince” also gives the sentence an unintended structure. The run-on at “children.This way” needs a space and clearer sentence punctuation, while “a lot of young students are struggling” would be more naturally expressed with a suitable present-tense construction. Review pronoun reference, clause structure, and punctuation, especially in longer sentences.

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