Band 5.5 IELTS Writing Task 2 Model Answer

Overall Band Score: 5.5 · Cambridge IELTS 21 · 2026-10-08

IELTS Writing Task 2 question

Some people argue that primary schools focus too much on formal learning.

To what extent do you agree with this opinion?

How important do you think it is for children to play as well as learn in the primary school classroom?

Give reasons for your answer and include any relevant examples from your own knowledge or experience.

Student answer (Band 5.5)

People debate about the tpic that primary schools focus very much on formal learning as compared to other actitvites. I completely agree with this topic, in primary schools formal learning is very much prioritised as compared to other social and recreational activities which are also essential for students to develope critical skills and teamwork.

A student almost spends major part of his life learning, starting from the primary schools , childerns are sent forced to focus on formal learning. This is also taught in a way that student's mind cosider only education and learning the way of life, ignoring many other aspects that life has to offer. Formal learning majorly focuses on learning , reading and writing, on the other hand sports and team activities teaches students vital skills that come handy in hostile situations. A student grown up just by formal learning will find it difficult to cop up with students capable of team work and coordination.

Students in primary school are in the golden age of learning they should be allowed to play, actively take parts in sports and mind games such as building legos which are proven to increase iq in major recent studies. These games sharpen the mind increasing creativity. There is a famous quote as well which read as , All work and no play makes jack a dull boy.

I beleive students should spend 70 percent of their time in primary school in these activities instead of formal learning to shape their mind in a way that they can easily later on study when in high schools.

To conclude things up i can say that schools should re-consider their teaching methods shifting from formal education to creative activities and sports so that a child can grow his mind to its absolute capacity that can help him in later life.

AI examiner evaluation

Task Achievement / Task Response: Band 6.0

Your position is clear: you completely agree that formal learning is prioritised, and you address both the balance of learning and play and the value of play in primary classrooms. Relevant support includes teamwork, coordination, creativity and the example of building with Lego. However, the two parts are not developed equally. The claim that children are “sent forced to focus” on formal learning is unclear, and the proposed 70 percent allocation is asserted without explaining why that proportion is appropriate. The discussion also generalises about formal learning and does not give a specific example of how classroom play benefits children. Develop each main claim with a clear explanation or concrete example, while keeping your position consistent.

Coherence and Cohesion: Band 5.5

The response has a recognisable structure: an introduction, two body paragraphs and a conclusion. The paragraphs broadly move from the emphasis on formal study to the benefits of play, and phrases such as “on the other hand” help signal contrast. However, progression within paragraphs is sometimes difficult to follow: the first body paragraph moves from time spent learning to life skills and then to coping with other students without clearly connecting each step. Some linking is mechanical, and the conclusion largely repeats the recommendation rather than drawing the argument together. Use clearer topic sentences and make each supporting sentence explain or illustrate the paragraph’s main point. Check that references such as “these activities” have an unmistakable antecedent.

Lexical Resource: Band 5.5

You use a relevant range of topic vocabulary, including “formal learning,” “teamwork,” “coordination,” “creativity” and “recreational activities.” These choices make your main ideas understandable, and you attempt less common expressions such as “golden age of learning” and “absolute capacity.” However, spelling and word-choice errors are noticeable, including “tpic,” “actitvites,” “develope” and “cop up.” Some combinations are also unnatural or imprecise: “hostile situations” does not clearly fit the point about teamwork, and “grow his mind” is not idiomatic. Aim for accurate, natural collocations and proofread spelling; this will make your argument more precise without requiring more elaborate vocabulary.

Grammatical Range and Accuracy: Band 5.5

You attempt both simple and more complex sentence forms, including a contrast between formal learning and sports and a sentence explaining how games may develop creativity. The overall meaning is usually recoverable, but some errors in sentence structure, agreement, articles and punctuation reduce clarity. For example, “A student almost spends major part of his life learning” needs an article, while “sports and team activities teaches” has a subject–verb agreement error. The opening sentence of the second paragraph is also a comma splice, and “students are in the golden age of learning they should be allowed” needs a full stop or conjunction. Review sentence boundaries and agreement, then proofread articles and plural forms.

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