Band 6.0 IELTS Writing Task 2 Model Answer

Overall Band Score: 6.0 · Cambridge IELTS 21 · 2026-10-09

IELTS Writing Task 2 question

Some people argue that primary schools focus too much on formal learning.

To what extent do you agree with this opinion?

How important do you think it is for children to play as well as learn in the primary school classroom?

Give reasons for your answer and include any relevant examples from your own knowledge or experience.

Student answer (Band 6.0)

I don't completely agree with the statement that says primary schools focus too much on formal learning. The early education of a child leaves noticeable marks on his personality. It is very important to nourish kids with best and quality education and make their learning experience pleasant.

When we talk about the primary schools in the past, there is no doubt about their too much focus on formal learning. There was a lot of pressure on the kids in many ways. They were supposed to learn and educate themselves only from their textbooks. Research has shown that this type of knowledge without any experiments or visual explanation does not stay permanently with the students. I would give all the credit to the curriculum and syllabus which was provided to the management of schools and of course the trainings provided to the teachers. One other factor is the lack of facilities and access to the internet in the past.

When we look at the primary schools of the modern era, their structure is completely different. Students are free from any kind of stress. The process of learning has been made very joyful and exciting for the kids. The teachers now engage the kids in different playing activities which also involve learning. The tutors do not rely solely on the provided textbooks rather they use multimedia like videos and images to teach the kids. Watching real life examples and processes happening in the videos make it easy for the kids to get familiar with the topic and it leaves long lasting impressions on their tiny brains. Thanks to the internet and latest technology which has given everyone an easy access to this type of learning material.

I think it is crucial for the children to play along with learning in the primary school classroom. Keeping kids free from any kind of mental stress is very necessary for their brain development and personality grooming. Primary schools are the very beginning stage of a child's education. It is very important to make this experience pleasant for the kids in order to develop their interest in education. Their small brains work best in relaxing environment where they enjoy exploring new things.

AI examiner evaluation

Task Achievement / Task Response: Band 6.0

Your position is clear: you do not completely agree that primary schools focus too much on formal learning, and you explicitly explain that play is crucial alongside learning. The discussion of past textbook-based teaching and modern activities, videos and images is relevant to both questions. However, the comparison between past and present takes up much of the response, while the claim that modern pupils are “free from any kind of stress” is broad and not supported with an example. The reasons for play—interest, relaxation and development—are relevant but would benefit from a specific classroom example and fuller explanation of how play supports learning. Develop these points more evenly to make the response more complete.

Coherence and Cohesion: Band 5.5

The response has a clear overall arrangement: an introduction, a comparison of past and modern schooling, and a final paragraph on the importance of play. Paragraphs generally have a central focus, and transitions such as “When we look at” help signal the shift in time. However, the progression is somewhat mechanical, with repeated openings built around “When we…” and several ideas linked mainly by “and.” The relationship between the historical discussion and your answer to the question could also be made more explicit. For example, a clearer topic sentence could state how the modern examples support your position. Use a wider range of linking and referencing, and ensure each paragraph advances the argument rather than repeating the general value of enjoyable learning.

Lexical Resource: Band 6.0

You use an adequate range of vocabulary for the topic, including “formal learning,” “curriculum,” “multimedia,” “mental stress” and “brain development.” These choices make your main ideas clear, and terms such as “visual explanation” and “long lasting impressions” show an attempt to express more specific concepts. Some word choices and collocations are less natural, however: “nourish kids with best and quality education,” “educate themselves only from their textbooks,” and “personality grooming” are awkward or imprecise. “Tiny brains” is also informal for an academic essay. Aim for more natural academic phrasing and avoid repeating broad words such as “important” and “very.” More precise vocabulary would make your explanations sound clearer and more controlled.

Grammatical Range and Accuracy: Band 6.0

You use a mix of simple and complex sentence forms, including subordinate clauses such as “which also involve learning” and “in order to develop their interest in education.” Most sentences communicate their meaning clearly, and the past-versus-present discussion shows some control of tense. There are some grammatical errors and awkward constructions, though. For example, “with best and quality education” is missing an article and has an unclear structure, while “The process of learning has been made very joyful” uses an unnatural construction. In “Watching real life examples and processes happening in the videos make it easy,” the subject and verb do not agree. Review articles, agreement and sentence construction, and vary your structures while keeping them accurate.

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