Band 5.5 IELTS Writing Task 2 Model Answer

Overall Band Score: 5.5 · Cambridge IELTS 21 · 2026-10-09

IELTS Writing Task 2 question

Some people argue that primary schools focus too much on formal learning.

To what extent do you agree with this opinion?

How important do you think it is for children to play as well as learn in the primary school classroom?

Give reasons for your answer and include any relevant examples from your own knowledge or experience.

Student answer (Band 5.5)

Nowadays, some people argue that primary schools focus too much on formal learning. Although, It is neccessary to give too much attention on formal learning for the beterment of children but students should get releaxed from a long period of formal learning.

In my opinion, focusing too much on formal learning is essintial. If this doesn't happen students may distract and can lose their intrest in study. If primary shchools do not focus on learning, students can built their intrest in other time wasting activites.

On the other hand, the strict academic routines may suppress children's natural curiosity and limit exploration. Many students may anxious and get depressed because of high pressure of exam. Additionally, overemphasis on theory may prevent children from developing hands-on skills and creativity.

By contrast, I personally believed that it is crucial for children to play as well as learn in the classoom of primary schools. One of the main reason behind is that playing games can improve the physical and mental health of children. Children can get bored for countinuously studying in classrooms. Children can also learn patience and how to do team work by playing.

In conclusion, primary schools foucs on foraml learning but not too much that learning become stressfull. However, i think that playing as well as learning is too essintial for children as it plays a vital role in the develoment of physical and mental health of children.

AI examiner evaluation

Task Achievement / Task Response: Band 5.5

You address both questions and give a recognisable position: formal learning matters, but children also need play. Relevant points include the risk of exam pressure and the benefits of games for health and teamwork. However, the argument is only partly developed. The claim that formal learning is “essential” because pupils might become distracted is not clearly reconciled with your opening suggestion that schools give it “too much attention,” and examples or explanations are brief. The response also contains 215 words, so it is 35 words below the 250-word minimum; the 22 words copied from the prompt are excluded. Use the extra space to clarify your degree of agreement and develop each main reason with a specific example.

Coherence and Cohesion: Band 5.5

The response has a basic, understandable structure: an introduction, contrasting points, a paragraph supporting play, and a conclusion. Paragraphing helps distinguish the ideas, and signposts such as “On the other hand” and “In conclusion” show the intended direction. However, progression is not always clear. The opening says formal learning deserves “too much attention,” while the next paragraph calls this focus “essential,” leaving the relationship between the views uncertain. “By contrast” also introduces a point that largely supports the preceding discussion rather than clearly contrasting with it. Some links between sentences are repetitive, particularly the repeated use of “Children can.” Make the position consistent and use transitions that accurately show whether an idea adds, contrasts, or explains.

Lexical Resource: Band 5.0

You use some relevant topic vocabulary, including “formal learning,” “natural curiosity,” “hands-on skills,” “creativity,” and “team work,” so the reader can follow the main subject. However, the range is limited and several spelling and word-choice errors are noticeable, sometimes making the text less fluent to read. Examples include “neccessary,” “essintial,” “releaxed,” “intrest,” and “foucs.” Some phrases are also unnatural, such as “built their intrest” and “get releaxed from a long period.” Aim to learn accurate spellings and common collocations as complete phrases, and choose more precise language when explaining the effects of play and academic pressure.

Grammatical Range and Accuracy: Band 5.0

You attempt both simple sentences and longer structures, including a conditional sentence (“If this doesn't happen…”) and a contrast clause beginning “Although.” This shows some effort to vary sentence forms, but control is inconsistent, and errors occur frequently enough to distract the reader. For example, “Although” is incorrectly followed by a complete sentence and then “but”; “students may distract” needs a passive form; and “Many students may anxious” is missing a verb. There are also agreement and article errors in “One of the main reason” and “learning become stressful.” Practise building accurate clauses first, especially modal constructions, subject–verb agreement, and sentence boundaries, before adding more complex structures.

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