Band 6.0 IELTS Writing Task 2 Model Answer

Overall Band Score: 6.0 · Cambridge IELTS 21 · 2026-10-09

IELTS Writing Task 2 question

Some people argue that primary schools focus too much on formal learning.

To what extent do you agree with this opinion?

How important do you think it is for children to play as well as learn in the primary school classroom?

Give reasons for your answer and include any relevant examples from your own knowledge or experience.

Student answer (Band 6.0)

In recent times, there is an arguement that primary schools just only focus on formal studies and do not pay proper attention to the sports. I personaly believe that the primary school students should be allowed to palys as well as education because it improves their physical health, their moral, their behaviour and decision making capabilities.

One the most important reason behind choosing this oppinion is that students physical health can be improved by this. The students who do not pay proper attention to games or sports are usually weaker than the others. Students taking part in sports does running, exercises and uses their energy on daily basis. Consequently, their body require more energy and food and make them more strong for next the day. Furthermore, their body heals their muscles in a more quick and effcient manner. For example, the primary students playing cricket has more speed and focus than average student.

Another major reason is that students can take accurate decisions on their own. While playing with goups of people, sometime they have to take decisions in a very short time.However, this can mentally prepare them for any future challenge. In addition, while playing they have to come on time everyday and work with many other players calmly. As a result, this improves their moral and teach them how to behave with others. For example, sometimes when some players start fighting they have to control the situation and take the decision immediately.

In conclusion, i would say that the primary schools should also focus on the sports and games alongside with studies because this can improve their health, behaviour and moral.

AI examiner evaluation

Task Achievement / Task Response: Band 6.5

Your position is clear: you support combining play with formal learning, and you give relevant reasons about physical health, decision-making and behaviour. The two body paragraphs each develop a main benefit and include examples, such as children playing cricket and resolving disagreements among teammates. This addresses both the value of play and the concern about schools’ focus on formal studies. However, the response mainly explains why play is beneficial; it says less about whether primary schools actually focus too much on formal learning or how classroom play should be balanced with lessons. Some claims, such as sports making students stronger or improving their focus, would also benefit from clearer explanation or more specific support. A fuller discussion of that balance would strengthen the response.

Coherence and Cohesion: Band 6.5

The response has a clear overall structure: an introduction states your view, two body paragraphs present separate reasons, and a conclusion restates your position. Sequencing phrases such as “Furthermore,” “Another major reason,” and “As a result” help readers follow the progression. The examples are generally placed alongside the points they support. At times, however, connections are mechanical or the relationship between sentences is not fully clear. For instance, “Consequently” introduces a claim about energy and food that does not clearly follow from the preceding sentence, and “However” does not express a clear contrast in the decision-making paragraph. Improve cohesion by making each sentence’s logical link explicit and using pronouns or transitions only when their reference and function are clear.

Lexical Resource: Band 5.0

You use enough topic-related vocabulary to communicate your main ideas, including “physical health,” “decision making,” “take decisions,” and “control the situation.” However, the range is limited and several noticeable spelling, word-form and collocation errors reduce precision: “arguement,” “personaly,” “palys,” “oppinion,” and “effcient.” Some phrases are also unnatural, such as “their moral” and “make them more strong.” These errors do not prevent the reader from understanding your overall argument, but they make the writing less fluent and sometimes require interpretation. Build a more accurate range of collocations for education and child development, and proofread spelling and word forms carefully. More precise vocabulary would help you express the benefits of play without relying on repeated general terms.

Grammatical Range and Accuracy: Band 5.5

You attempt both simple and complex sentence forms, including clauses beginning with “While” and “because,” and your meaning is generally understandable. Some grammatical errors remain, particularly with agreement, verb forms, articles and sentence boundaries. For example, “Students taking part in sports does running” has a subject–verb agreement problem, while “their body require” and “this improves their moral and teach” do not maintain agreement. The sentence beginning “While playing with goups of people” also runs into “However” without clear punctuation or a complete contrast. Work on matching verbs to their subjects, checking singular and plural nouns, and punctuating clauses and sentence boundaries. Greater control of these patterns would make your varied sentence attempts clearer.

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