Band 5.5 IELTS Writing Task 2 Model Answer

Overall Band Score: 5.5 · Cambridge IELTS 21 · 2026-10-09

IELTS Writing Task 2 question

Some people argue that primary schools focus too much on formal learning.

To what extent do you agree with this opinion?

How important do you think it is for children to play as well as learn in the primary school classroom?

Give reasons for your answer and include any relevant examples from your own knowledge or experience.

Student answer (Band 5.5)

People of society often argue that primary schools have shifted their focus on formal learning rather than a mix model. I strongly agree with the arguement as schools are prioritising fromal education, for better development of young pupils a mixture of both formal and informal learning is necessary.

To begin with, there are many disadvantages of this development. One of that is in primary schools childrens gathers the basic knowledge of subjects, and school prioritising on formal subjects will lead to underdevelopment in other fields. Young students intrests ought to be more distributed among every sector, such as sports, practical lessons, and so on. These development is necessary for their bright future and as well as physical well-being. For instance, my primary school was only focused on teaching certain range of subjects, because of this mant students intrests in other fields have decreased and remained at certain subjects.

Furthermore, although it has some advantages to it like young pupils who have intrests in limited subjects will able to prioritise and build expertise on the subjects. In contrasts, such development is limited to small group of children, while others can suffer with this formal learning method. A hybrid model of education in every primary school can equally develope the intrests of young students.

In conclusion, many people criticise primary schools focusing more on formal learning method for young pupils, it has some benefits to it. But, in my opinion, a hybrid model of education would be a suffiecient approach for young students as formal education has many limitations.

AI examiner evaluation

Task Achievement / Task Response: Band 6.0

Your position is clear: you strongly agree that primary schools should balance formal learning with other activities, and you give relevant reasons, including children’s physical well-being and the risk of narrowing their interests. The personal example about your primary school also helps illustrate the point. However, the two parts of the question are not developed equally. You explain why a mix of learning is beneficial, but you do not directly discuss the importance of play in the classroom or give concrete examples of how play supports learning. The counterpoint about pupils specialising in subjects is relevant, but its significance is only briefly explained. Develop these ideas with specific classroom examples and clearer links to children’s development.

Coherence and Cohesion: Band 6.0

The response has a recognisable structure, with an introduction, two body paragraphs and a conclusion. The progression from the disadvantages of an overly formal approach to a counterpoint and then your recommendation is generally logical. Linking phrases such as “To begin with,” “Furthermore,” and “In conclusion” make the stages easy to follow. However, some connections are mechanical or unclear. For example, “In contrasts” introduces a contrast awkwardly, and the relationship between the personal example and the broader claim could be made more explicit. The second body paragraph also shifts quickly from the possible benefit of focusing on a few subjects to recommending a hybrid model. Use clearer transitions and explain how each example supports the paragraph’s main point.

Lexical Resource: Band 5.0

You use some relevant topic vocabulary, including “formal learning,” “practical lessons,” “physical well-being,” and “hybrid model,” which helps communicate your main ideas. However, the range is limited and several word-choice, collocation and spelling problems make the writing less precise. Phrases such as “prioritising fromal education,” “intrests in limited subjects,” and “suffer with this formal learning method” are either misspelled or unnatural. Repetition of “formal,” “subjects,” and “development” also limits flexibility. Aim to use accurate collocations and a wider range of terms for classroom activities and children’s outcomes, such as “hands-on activities,” “broaden their interests,” and “social skills.” Proofreading would help catch spelling errors.

Grammatical Range and Accuracy: Band 5.0

You attempt both simple and more complex sentence forms, including a concession in “although it has some advantages” and a conditional relationship in “because of this.” The overall meaning is usually understandable, but some errors in sentence structure, agreement, plurals and articles reduce accuracy. For example, “One of that is” has an unclear grammatical construction, while “childrens gathers” and “These development is necessary” show problems with number and subject–verb agreement. The opening sentence also joins several ideas in a way that makes the structure difficult to follow. Work on building complete, clearly punctuated sentences and checking agreement between subjects and verbs. More accurate control of these patterns would make your arguments easier to read.

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