Band 5.5 IELTS Writing Task 2 Model Answer

Overall Band Score: 5.5 · Cambridge IELTS 21 · 2026-10-09

IELTS Writing Task 2 question

Some people argue that primary schools focus too much on formal learning.

To what extent do you agree with this opinion?

How important do you think it is for children to play as well as learn in the primary school classroom?

Give reasons for your answer and include any relevant examples from your own knowledge or experience.

Student answer (Band 5.5)

Schools are the institutions where children receive an education from qualified teachers. This institution is divided into three main levels: primary, middle, and secondary education. Education is what someone requires to shape their ideas and groom their personality. Primary schools focus too much on formal learning, and they have strict rules for students, too.

As we see, with our society growing day by day and an increase in population in our country, new schools are opening every day. With classism in society, there are schools for the rich, middle, and lower classes, with each pretending to be different from the other. The primary schools in the past were not too focused on studies, and they had their own proper schedules for classes and other extracurricular activities too. Children used to get excited because of events happening in their institutions every week or month.

Other than that, the students had proper lunch break periods, which we call recess, during which they could have their meals, and besides that, they could play too. But now we can see the changes in the whole academic plan. For example, in Pakistan, there is a famous primary school named Step; they have 8 lectures for children, with one lecture in between for eating their lunch. They do not let the children play, and even during lunch break, teachers are present in the classroom.

In contrast to what today's school system does, my opinion is to offer children a proper place and time so that they can play as well as learn. Because human minds tend to get tired if they do something continually. In order to learn new things, we require a brief break in between, and that time should be for playing.

To sum up, primary schools should not focus too much on formal learning only, but they should offer children a place to play and unwind because it will help them grow and learn more.

AI examiner evaluation

Task Achievement / Task Response: Band 6.0

Your response gives a clear position: primary schools should make time for play as well as formal learning. You address both the concern about excessive formal study and the importance of play, and the example of the school in Pakistan helps make the issue concrete. However, the discussion of social class and the growth in the number of schools is only loosely connected to the question, while the central claim that breaks help children learn is not developed with much explanation or evidence. The comparison with schools in the past is also broad. To strengthen the response, explain more specifically how play supports children’s concentration, social skills, or learning, and connect each example directly to your argument.

Coherence and Cohesion: Band 5.5

The essay has a recognisable structure, moving from an introduction to background, a school example, your opinion, and a conclusion. Paragraphing generally separates these stages, and phrases such as “For example” and “To sum up” help signal the direction of the discussion. However, the progression is not consistently focused: the paragraph about population growth and class differences interrupts the argument, and “Other than that” does not clearly show how the next point relates to the previous one. Some links are mechanical, and the reference to “this institution” after “Schools” is not fully clear. Organise the body around two connected points—formal-learning pressure and the benefits of play—and use more precise transitions and referencing.

Lexical Resource: Band 5.5

You use enough vocabulary to communicate the main argument, including relevant terms such as “formal learning,” “extracurricular activities,” “recess,” and “academic plan.” The example also includes specific language about lectures and lunch breaks. However, several expressions are imprecise or unnatural, such as “groom their personality,” “with classism in society,” and “a proper place and time.” Repetition of general words such as “children,” “schools,” and “play” also limits flexibility. Aim for more precise collocations and a slightly more formal academic style; for instance, describe how schools “develop children’s personalities” and provide “dedicated time and space for play.” This would make the argument clearer without requiring unnecessarily complex vocabulary.

Grammatical Range and Accuracy: Band 5.5

You use a mixture of simple and complex sentence forms, including clauses introduced by “because,” “during which,” and “if.” Most of the meaning remains clear, and the final paragraph gives a direct summary of your position. Some grammatical and punctuation issues remain, however. “This institution is divided into three main levels” has an unclear singular reference after “Schools,” and “Because human minds tend to get tired…” is a sentence fragment when separated from the preceding sentence. The sentence beginning “As we see” is also overloaded, making its relationships harder to follow. Work on clear sentence boundaries, accurate pronoun reference, and combining dependent clauses with a complete main clause. These changes would improve control while preserving your range.

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