Band 5.5 IELTS Writing Task 2 Model Answer

Overall Band Score: 5.5 · Cambridge IELTS 21 · 2026-10-09

IELTS Writing Task 2 question

Some people argue that primary schools focus too much on formal learning.

To what extent do you agree with this opinion?

How important do you think it is for children to play as well as learn in the primary school classroom?

Give reasons for your answer and include any relevant examples from your own knowledge or experience.

Student answer (Band 5.5)

Many individuals believe that children should focus on academic learning in the primary school system. Although to much focus on formal learning crucial for every children in the early stage, I think physical activities and long breaks from academic courses are also phenomenal to provide relaxations to students.

Firstly, in the early stage of learning it's important to provides appropriate physical activities as well as formal learning strategies for children of the primary school. Many institutions mainly focus on learning and also provide maximum home work which can create stress on children, so if educational centers make equality in their education system, it would be better for learner to manage all activities properly. For example, in our country, most of students take 8 to 9 hours in the a school and if they come to home then go to other institutes which mainly guided students to religion, as a result they can't handle all of these tasks conveniently.

On the other hand, elementary school should also required to gives a long summer holidays for students. Long breaks from the initial learning center offer confidence and avoide stress from students. Some students have the opportunity to go with grandparents in the summer break which located in the other part of the nation it can make strong relationship with relation.

In conclusion, despite the fact that to much focus on learning is significant in the early stage if learning which can provide valuable information and create mindset of the children, I believe that physical activities also crucial for thaem because it will furnish good physical and mental health.

AI examiner evaluation

Task Achievement / Task Response: Band 6.0

Your position is generally clear: you recognise the value of formal learning while arguing that physical activity and breaks are also important. You address both the balance between learning and other activities and the value of play, with relevant examples such as children’s long school days and visiting grandparents during summer holidays. However, the second body paragraph focuses mainly on holidays rather than explaining how play in the classroom supports children’s learning or development. Some points also need fuller explanation—for example, how physical activities improve students’ wellbeing, and what a more balanced school day would involve. Developing these ideas more directly would make the response more complete and persuasive.

Coherence and Cohesion: Band 6.0

The response has a recognisable structure, with an introduction, two body paragraphs and a conclusion. The paragraphs are broadly organised around related points, and signposts such as “Firstly,” “On the other hand” and “In conclusion” help show the stages of your argument. However, the progression is not always smooth: the second body paragraph shifts from classroom play to summer holidays, so its connection to the question is not fully clear. Some sentences also contain several ideas without clear links, particularly the example about school, additional institutes and religious study. Use more precise referencing and explain how each example supports the paragraph’s main point. This would make the overall organisation clearer and cohesion less dependent on formulaic transitions.

Lexical Resource: Band 5.5

You use a range of vocabulary relevant to education and children, including “formal learning,” “physical activities,” “academic courses” and “mental health.” There are also attempts at less common expressions, such as “manage all activities” and “strong relationship.” However, several word choices or collocations are inaccurate or unclear, including “provide relaxations,” “make equality in their education system” and “which located in the other part of the nation.” Spelling and word-form slips such as “avoide” and “thaem” also reduce accuracy. These issues do not prevent the reader from understanding the main message, but they limit precision. Aim for natural combinations such as “provide relaxation,” “achieve a balance” and “build a close relationship.”

Grammatical Range and Accuracy: Band 5.0

You attempt both simple and complex sentences, including clauses with “although,” “so” and “which,” and you use conditional forms such as “it would be better.” However, errors in sentence structure and basic grammar occur across the response. Examples include “to much focus … crucial,” “important to provides,” “most of students take 8 to 9 hours in the a school,” and “elementary school should also required to gives.” These show problems with agreement, verb forms, articles and sentence construction. Some longer sentences, especially the example about students’ schedules, are difficult to follow because clauses are joined without clear grammatical control. Practise building accurate sentences first, then add subordinate clauses and check each verb against its subject.

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