Band 6.0 IELTS Writing Task 2 Model Answer

Overall Band Score: 6.0 · Cambridge IELTS 21 · 2026-10-09

IELTS Writing Task 2 question

Some people argue that primary schools focus too much on formal learning.

To what extent do you agree with this opinion?

How important do you think it is for children to play as well as learn in the primary school classroom?

Give reasons for your answer and include any relevant examples from your own knowledge or experience.

Student answer (Band 6.0)

Some people beleive primary schools have overly emphasis on studies. I agree with this statement as it may lead to poor developement of social skills. In my view, it is very important for children to play and study at their educational places because it makes them healthy and confident.

Firstly, uni-lateral approach that involves only studying at the school can be very harmful for social skills of children. The more students focus only on their studies, the least they interact with each other in a comfortable environment. Consequently, the part of brain that is responsible for social skills may remain uder developed because it learns from the social cues and intractions. Not only does that create problems in their social lives, but it also effects their personal relations. Consequently, the children subjected to only study routines are not good at making friends and even face difficulty in finding a partner.

On the other hand, children that play with their fellow students have better confidence and health. Because, playing with each other teach them the importance of coordination and bonding.Since, everyone have the individual as well as a collective part in playing thus, in this process they talk more with eachother and get better at communication and self dependancy. Additionally, games make the brain and body healthy by putting them both to different challenges. For instance, the children that play regularly have better fitness due to the physical nature of the game. Thus, they have less health problems.

In conclusion, playing in schools is as important as studies as it make children healthy and confident by going through physical and mental challanges in the game. Whereas, those who are subjected to only study regime are prone to social skills problems.

AI examiner evaluation

Task Achievement / Task Response: Band 6.5

Your position is clear: you agree that primary schools can overemphasise formal study, and you explain why play should also be included. The response addresses both questions, especially by linking play with social development, confidence and physical health. The first body paragraph gives a relevant consequence of study-only routines, while the second offers examples of what play can teach. However, some points are asserted rather than fully explained: for example, the claim that children may struggle to find a partner is not clearly connected to the school context, and the health benefits are supported mainly by a general statement about fitness. To strengthen the response, develop each main claim with a more specific classroom example and explain how schools can balance learning and play.

Coherence and Cohesion: Band 6.5

The essay has a clear overall structure: an introduction states your view, two body paragraphs present contrasting points, and the conclusion restates your position. Sequencing is generally easy to follow, and signposts such as “Firstly,” “On the other hand,” and “In conclusion” help identify the stages of the argument. This gives the response a coherent progression. At times, however, linking is mechanical or unclear. “Consequently” is repeated, and the opening “Because” in the second body paragraph creates a fragment rather than a smooth connection. Some ideas also run together, as in “bonding.Since,” where punctuation and spacing obscure the relationship between sentences. Use a wider range of natural transitions and make the links between claims explicit.

Lexical Resource: Band 5.5

You use some topic-relevant vocabulary, including “social skills,” “social cues,” “coordination,” “communication,” and “physical nature,” which helps convey your main ideas. There are also attempts at less common expressions such as “uni-lateral approach” and “self dependancy.” However, several word-choice, word-form and spelling errors reduce precision and sometimes make phrases awkward: “overly emphasis,” “poor developement,” “effects their personal relations,” and “under developed” are examples. Some expressions, such as “the part of brain,” are also imprecise for the point being made. Aim for accurate, natural collocations rather than more elaborate wording, and proofread spelling and word forms. This would make your meaning clearer and give your vocabulary greater flexibility.

Grammatical Range and Accuracy: Band 5.5

You attempt a mix of simple and complex structures, including the comparative construction “The more students focus…,” the inversion “Not only does that create…,” and clauses beginning with “because” and “since.” These show some range, and the overall meaning is usually understandable. However, errors in agreement, sentence boundaries and clause construction recur. For example, “playing with each other teach them” needs subject–verb agreement, while “everyone have” also has an agreement error. “Because, playing…” is an incomplete sentence, and “Since, everyone have…” is not joined effectively to the surrounding idea. There are also punctuation problems where sentences run together. Practise checking each sentence for a complete main clause, correct agreement and clear punctuation, while retaining your attempts at complex forms.

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