Band 5.5 IELTS Writing Task 2 Model Answer

Overall Band Score: 5.5 · Cambridge IELTS 21 · 2026-10-09

IELTS Writing Task 2 question

Some people argue that primary schools focus too much on formal learning.

To what extent do you agree with this opinion?

How important do you think it is for children to play as well as learn in the primary school classroom?

Give reasons for your answer and include any relevant examples from your own knowledge or experience.

Student answer (Band 5.5)

some people argue primary school concentrate on formal learning.i do agree with this satement non academic activites are very necessary for refreshing the mind of a childern,as study is important games are also very important because games help childern to expoler joy and helps them to maintain a fit body so by fousing more on the study is also good but games are also the part of life if a childern do not participate on games or other activites which can cause stress and mental illness for a student as a sound body needs a sound mind.

if students are unable to participate on nonacademic activites they are unable to focous on their study more efficently,due to lack of games some childern are also suffering from depression and anxiety which is common in today's world for example if students are not involing in games such as football,cricket,tennis,and many others which is necessary for body and mental health they will suffer from health problem they will unablew to do their tasks and concept physical activites are also very important for today's student for their knowldeg and communication skills this will give raise to self confidence.in addition,when childern plays team games they will learn how to coopreat with others and how to follow rule.when the results will announced they will get to know about the importace of games and hard work who will work hard get succed this will also highlight the importance of hard work and harmoney when the childern play in team in unity

In conculsion,i belive that primary school focuses on education it is good , but ignoring non academic activites is not a good impact they should blance study and games for students as study is necessary non academic activites are also important for students

AI examiner evaluation

Task Achievement / Task Response: Band 6.0

You address both parts of the question: you agree that formal study matters, while arguing that play and other activities should also be included. Relevant reasons include physical and mental health, stress relief, confidence, cooperation and learning to follow rules. The team-games example helps explain how play can support social development. However, the response focuses more on the benefits of activities than on whether primary schools currently place too much emphasis on formal learning, so that part of your position is less fully explained. Some claims, such as games preventing depression or improving students’ ability to complete tasks, need clearer explanation or a specific example. Develop the comparison between classroom learning and play, and support each main point more precisely.

Coherence and Cohesion: Band 6.0

There is an overall progression from your position, through reasons and examples, to a conclusion. The second paragraph groups several benefits of play, and phrases such as “for example” and “in addition” help signal development. However, the response is difficult to follow at sentence level because many ideas are joined into very long sentences, with limited punctuation. For instance, the discussion beginning “if students are not involing in games” moves from health problems to tasks, knowledge and confidence without clear boundaries. Some links are also unclear, such as “when the results will announced.” Use separate sentences for each main idea, organise the body into distinct points, and make references and cause-and-effect links explicit.

Lexical Resource: Band 5.0

You use a relevant range of topic vocabulary, including “formal learning,” “non academic activities,” “mental health,” “self confidence,” “team games” and “communication skills.” These terms make your main message understandable. However, spelling errors and inaccurate or repetitive word choices are noticeable, including “childern,” “focousing,” “harmoney” and repeated use of “important.” Some phrases are also unnatural, such as “expoler joy,” “give raise to self confidence” and “get succed.” These choices sometimes make the reader work to interpret your meaning. Build accuracy by checking spelling and learning common collocations, for example, “develop confidence,” “maintain physical health” and “cooperate with others.”

Grammatical Range and Accuracy: Band 5.0

You attempt to express reasons and consequences using clauses with “because,” “if,” “when” and “as,” and you include both simple statements and more extended sentences. However, many sentences contain several clauses without clear punctuation, and errors in verb forms, agreement, articles and sentence construction sometimes make the meaning difficult to follow. Examples include “when childern plays team games,” “they will unablew to do their tasks,” and “when the results will announced.” There are also run-on sentences, particularly in the opening and the second paragraph. Practise forming accurate subject–verb patterns and conditional sentences, and use full stops to separate complete ideas. This will make your attempted complex structures clearer and more controlled.

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