Band 5.5 IELTS Writing Task 2 Model Answer

Overall Band Score: 5.5 · Cambridge IELTS 21 · 2026-10-09

IELTS Writing Task 2 question

Some people argue that primary schools focus too much on formal learning.

To what extent do you agree with this opinion?

How important do you think it is for children to play as well as learn in the primary school classroom?

Give reasons for your answer and include any relevant examples from your own knowledge or experience.

Student answer (Band 5.5)

Few individuals are thinks that primary schools are focusing only on theortical learning. While others thinks that children should play some activities as well as study in primary schools. I partialy believe that schools should focus on study but give some time to children relax and have some activities in classroom.

To commence with, in my opinion childrens should play some activities too becuase they feel relax. To elloborate it, in primary school if childrens are studing too much, they would not be able to focus on other things like activities, their age is to play games as well as learn together. For example, if children only learn about alphabets and peoms but didn't know about the games and physical activities, then what is meaning of school. Thus, children should play games along with studies.

Furthermore, I believe that in young age children only focus on learning and build their skills, it is very important for their future. In other words, primary should focus on studing formal, and make their basic grounding strong for their future skills. For instance, some child are not able to focus on both things, also school have pressure to focus on good grades, thats why primary schools only focus on formal learning instead of activities.

In conclusion, I believe that for childrens future primary schools are right to focus on formal learning it give students to create strong skills, learning many things to build their future, also i believe that students should get time for their some activities as well as learning, becuase childrens in primary school are very young thier mind is not sharp to take load of study. They should get thier time to relax and get some activities for enjoyment.

AI examiner evaluation

Task Achievement / Task Response: Band 5.5

You address both parts of the question and make your position clear: you support formal learning while also arguing that children need time for activities and relaxation. The examples about learning alphabets and poems and taking part in games are relevant. However, the discussion is only partly developed. The claim that formal learning builds future skills is repeated, while the reasons why play supports children’s learning or wellbeing are not explained in much detail. The point that schools face pressure to achieve good grades is also introduced without showing how this supports your view. Develop each main reason with a clearer explanation or a specific example to make your response more fully supported.

Coherence and Cohesion: Band 6.0

The response has a clear overall structure, with an introduction, two body paragraphs and a conclusion. Paragraphs generally have identifiable purposes, and signposts such as “Furthermore” and “In conclusion” help readers follow the main stages. However, progression within the body paragraphs is sometimes unclear: the second paragraph moves from children building skills to schools’ pressure for good grades without explaining the connection. Some linking phrases, including “To elaborate it” and “In other words,” feel mechanical or do not introduce a clear restatement. The conclusion also repeats several points rather than bringing them together. Use clearer links between claims and explanations, and make each paragraph develop one central idea.

Lexical Resource: Band 5.0

You use enough topic-related vocabulary to communicate your main ideas, including “formal learning,” “physical activities,” “grades” and “skills.” However, the range is limited and several word-choice, spelling and collocation errors make the writing less natural and occasionally harder to understand. Examples include “theortical learning,” “feel relax,” “build their skills” and “strong skills.” Some words are also repeated frequently, particularly “children,” “focus” and “learning.” Aim to use more precise phrases for the benefits of play and study, and check spelling and common word combinations. For example, “feel relaxed” and “develop a strong foundation” would express your intended meanings more naturally.

Grammatical Range and Accuracy: Band 5.0

You attempt both simple and more complex sentences, including conditional structures such as “if children only learn … then what is meaning of school.” However, control is inconsistent, and errors in agreement, verb forms, articles and sentence construction occur throughout. For example, “Few individuals are thinks” combines incompatible verb forms, while “primary schools are focusing” does not clearly express the general situation intended. In “some child are not able,” the subject and verb do not agree. Several long sentences, especially in the conclusion, join multiple ideas without clear grammatical boundaries. Practise accurate subject–verb agreement and verb forms, and divide longer sentences into shorter, complete units.

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