Band 7.0 IELTS Writing Task 2 Model Answer

Overall Band Score: 7.0 · Cambridge IELTS 21 · 2026-10-09

IELTS Writing Task 2 question

Some people argue that primary schools focus too much on formal learning.

To what extent do you agree with this opinion?

How important do you think it is for children to play as well as learn in the primary school classroom?

Give reasons for your answer and include any relevant examples from your own knowledge or experience.

Student answer (Band 7.0)

Recently, teaching methods used in primary educational institutes are under widespread discussion. Many individuals state that primary schools are mainly focusing to study formal subjects. I disagree with this statement. In this essay, I will give reasons in favor of my opinion along with the importance of various games and plays for the students.

To begin with, I believe that many schools nowadays are trying to indulge their pupils in various co-curricular activities to promote personal development. In other words, competitions, sports weeks and debates are being organized by many institutes to boost the confidence of students. For instance, art exhibitions encourage the students to paticipate actively and to showcase their skills as well. Therefore, primary schools nowadays are focusing on formal learning as well as on character development of students. So, I disagree with the claim that only formal learning is getting more attention.

In addition, when it comes to the importance of sports for children in comparison with studying course subjects, from my perspective, both are equally important. It can be attributed to the fact that a number of games help students to think creatively, which can enhance their problem solving ability. In addition, courses that are being taught in classroom assist in gaining knowledge and learning new concepts. For example, geography class improves the knowledge about various geographical locations, while games like chess can enhance the imagination and the ability to deal with problems. Hence, both formal learning and sports are essential for school children.

In conclusion, I disagree with the individuals who claim that schools are only providing formal education, for more and more educational institutes are including other activities for students as well. Moreover, I believe that it is equally significant to provide formal education and sport opportunities for students.

AI examiner evaluation

Task Achievement / Task Response: Band 7.0

Your position is clear from the introduction to the conclusion: you disagree that primary schools focus only on formal learning, and you consider classroom learning and play equally important. You address both parts of the prompt and support your view with relevant examples, including art exhibitions and chess. The explanation that games can develop creative thinking and problem-solving also extends your argument. To strengthen the response further, develop the evidence beyond general claims: explain how these activities are incorporated into a typical school day or how they benefit children in practice. The comparison between formal subjects and sports could also distinguish play more broadly from organised sport, since the question asks about playing as well as learning in the classroom.

Coherence and Cohesion: Band 7.0

The essay has a clear overall progression: an introduction states your view, two body paragraphs address school activities and the value of learning alongside play, and a conclusion restates your position. Paragraphs are focused, and examples generally follow the points they support. Linking expressions such as “To begin with,” “In addition,” and “Hence” help readers follow the argument. At times, however, the connections feel formulaic, and “In addition” is repeated within the second body paragraph. The first paragraph also moves from co-curricular activities to the broader claim about character development without explaining that link in detail. Use a wider range of referencing and transitions, and make the relationship between each example and its main point more explicit.

Lexical Resource: Band 6.5

You use a sufficient range of vocabulary to discuss education and child development, including “co-curricular activities,” “personal development,” “showcase their skills,” and “problem solving ability.” These choices show some awareness of more formal and less common language. However, several phrases are awkward or imprecise, such as “focusing to study formal subjects,” “indulge their pupils in” activities, and “sport opportunities.” “Paticipate” is also misspelled, and “games and plays” is not a natural expression in this context. These issues do not prevent understanding, but they limit the precision and naturalness of the vocabulary. Aim for accurate collocations and use “play” or “play-based activities” when discussing children’s classroom play.

Grammatical Range and Accuracy: Band 7.0

You use a range of sentence forms, including complex clauses such as “It can be attributed to the fact that…” and the contrast between geography lessons and chess. Many sentences are accurate and easy to follow, and punctuation generally supports the meaning. A few grammatical patterns need closer control. For example, “schools are mainly focusing to study” uses an incorrect verb pattern; write “are mainly focusing on teaching” or “focus mainly on teaching.” In “the importance of sports … in comparison with studying course subjects,” the comparison is not formed clearly. The phrase “the ability to deal with problems” is grammatically sound, but the surrounding sentence could be structured more directly. Continue using complex sentences, while checking verb patterns and parallel comparisons.

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