Band 6.0 IELTS Writing Task 2 Model Answer

Overall Band Score: 6.0 · Cambridge IELTS 21 · 2026-10-09

IELTS Writing Task 2 question

Some people argue that primary schools focus too much on formal learning.

To what extent do you agree with this opinion?

How important do you think it is for children to play as well as learn in the primary school classroom?

Give reasons for your answer and include any relevant examples from your own knowledge or experience.

Student answer (Band 6.0)

Many people have different perceptions that primary schools prioritise formal learning more than outdoor activities.This essay agrees with this context.Because,in my opinion,outdoor gaming activities are also imperative in accordance with formal teaching to help learners to be pro-active and expertise in both physical and mental well-being.It is vital for school-age children to have profound knowledge in both physical activities and academic background.

From my perspective,educational organisations should emphasize on physical outdoor activities as well as formal schooling.Reasonably,if a children goes to school on daily basis he/she will tend to have a monotonous feeling regarding their traditional way of learning.As a consequence,they may feel demotivated to complete their daily tasks as well.On contrary,if a children is provided with the opportunity to learn along with fun games,they will more likely to persue their academic tasks with enjoyment rather than feeling stressed.Additionally,students are more likely to be in a pressurised situation when they are undergoing with a traditional cycle of learning.To minimize the negative impacts of traditional learning education-providers should prioritise playing as well as formal learning.

Admittedly,it is essential for a school-goer to maintain both of their physical and mental well-being which is definitely connected with a balance between playing outside and academic schooling.Outdoor activities which are suitable for children such as badminton,tennis,basketball,football,cricket and hide and seek are crucial for a school-goer to maintain their healthy mindset while they are persuing their education.As the saying goes,"Health is wealth" is driven by a sound mind and a sound body which can be kept in a better position if childrens can go outside and play with other childrens.Moreover,this can also give them a sense of social life.

In conclusion,to provide better educational opportunities to children and to make their life enjoyable with fun learning then academic-play life balance should be maintained.It is inevitable for learners to have the best learning environment along with other outdoor activities.

AI examiner evaluation

Task Achievement / Task Response: Band 6.5

Your position is clear: you agree that primary schools should balance formal learning with play, and you address both the emphasis on formal education and the importance of classroom play. The explanation that a traditional routine can make pupils feel monotonous or demotivated is relevant, while the discussion of physical and mental well-being and social life adds a second reason. These points support the task, but some are more fully explained than others. For example, you list several sports and games without showing specifically how play in the classroom supports learning, and the claim that children gain a “sense of social life” could be developed with an example. To strengthen the response, explain more directly how structured play improves learning or classroom skills, and extend each main reason with a concrete illustration.

Coherence and Cohesion: Band 6.5

The response has a recognisable structure: an introduction states your view, two body paragraphs give reasons, and a conclusion restates the need for balance. Ideas generally progress from motivation to well-being and social development. You also use linking expressions such as “As a consequence,” “Additionally,” and “Moreover.” However, some connections feel mechanical or unclear. “Admittedly” introduces a point that supports your position rather than conceding an opposing view, and “On contrary” does not clearly signal the intended contrast. The first paragraph also moves quickly from outdoor activities to physical and academic knowledge. Use topic sentences that identify each paragraph’s main claim, and make transitions express the precise relationship between ideas. Clearer referencing and more purposeful linking would make the progression smoother.

Lexical Resource: Band 5.5

You attempt a range of topic-related vocabulary, including “formal schooling,” “monotonous,” “demotivated,” “pressurised,” and “physical and mental well-being.” This gives you some ability to discuss motivation and children’s development. However, several choices are unnatural or imprecise, which sometimes makes the reader pause: “outdoor gaming activities” is not the usual term for sports or play, “expertise in both physical and mental well-being” does not express the intended meaning, and “academic-play life balance” is awkward. There are also spelling and word-form slips, including “persue” and “pro-active.” Aim for accurate, natural collocations rather than more elaborate wording; for example, use “develop physically and mentally” and “balance academic learning with play.”

Grammatical Range and Accuracy: Band 5.5

You use both simple statements and attempts at complex sentences, including conditional structures such as “if a children goes to school… he/she will tend to have…” and clauses introduced by “which” and “while.” This shows an effort to vary sentence forms, and the overall meaning is usually recoverable. However, errors in agreement, articles, plurals, and sentence boundaries recur: “a children” should be “a child,” “if childrens can go” needs a plural form, and “This essay agrees with this context.Because” creates an incomplete sentence. Some long sentences also combine several ideas without secure grammatical control. Practise accurate subject–verb agreement and sentence boundaries, and revise complex sentences to ensure each clause is complete. Consistent spacing after punctuation will also improve readability.

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