Band 4.5 IELTS Writing Task 2 Model Answer

Overall Band Score: 4.5 · Cambridge IELTS 21 · 2026-10-10

IELTS Writing Task 2 question

Some people argue that primary schools focus too much on formal learning.

To what extent do you agree with this opinion?

How important do you think it is for children to play as well as learn in the primary school classroom?

Give reasons for your answer and include any relevant examples from your own knowledge or experience.

Student answer (Band 4.5)

There are number of people give there openion about learning method of classroom of primary school by saying, Primary Schoola are more focusing on formal learing rather than learn by play.

There are few mind sets those says about formal learning of primary school. They are give there point by saying there should not be formal way to teach kids in the begning of there studies in there prospactive they belive there should be learing game to maintain the focous of the students. They are very young to understand the formal way because of new tachnology they are using in there home through different kind of screens. They can learn more with the play rather than by the old teaching method, we are using from several years.

In there belive pupiles of primary schools there age is to play not to sit like elders and under stand Teachers. There focous is more on Games or having fun rather than to behave like mature persons.

They Argue by saying if we focus alot on old teaching methods and not adopting latest teaching methos, it will hard for kids to focus on the studies, All the time they will think to leave the classroom and spent some quality time in ground.

I personaly belive about this mindset that there should not be teaching methods that we use too, innecative should be implemented and education department should urange tranings for teachers of beginer studens. There is need to upgrade classrooms and should be spend sometime with pupiles in the garden or ground to have fun in the physical activities.

AI examiner evaluation

Task Achievement / Task Response: Band 5.0

You address the topic by presenting reasons for using play-based learning and stating a personal view that teaching should be updated. However, the response only partially answers the two questions: your degree of agreement with the claim that schools focus too much on formal learning is not stated clearly, and the importance of play alongside learning is not directly explained. Ideas such as children being young and wanting to play are relevant, but they are repeated rather than developed with a specific example or explanation of how play supports learning. The final paragraph suggests teacher training and outdoor activities, but these recommendations do not fully establish your position. State your view explicitly, then explain and illustrate how a balance of formal instruction and play benefits pupils.

Coherence and Cohesion: Band 4.5

The response has a basic paragraph structure: it introduces the issue, gives reasons for play-based learning, and ends with a personal view and suggestions. This gives the reader some sense of organisation. However, progression between ideas is limited, and several points repeat the claim that young children prefer games to formal lessons. Connections such as “They argue by saying” and “In their belief” are awkward or unclear, making it difficult to follow whose views are being presented. The opening also moves quickly from the topic to others’ opinions without a clear roadmap. Organise the body around distinct points—for example, attention and physical development—and use clear references and linking phrases to show how each point supports your position.

Lexical Resource: Band 4.5

You use some topic-related vocabulary, including “formal learning,” “teaching methods,” “classroom,” and “physical activities,” so the main subject is generally recognisable. However, the range is limited and several word choices or collocations make meaning less clear, such as “give there point,” “maintain the focus,” and “spend some quality time in ground.” Spelling errors are also frequent, including “openion,” “learing,” and “tranings,” which can distract the reader. Aim for accurate, natural phrases and check spelling carefully. More precise terms such as “play-based learning,” “engagement,” and “teacher training” would help you express your ideas clearly without relying on repeated references to games and old teaching methods.

Grammatical Range and Accuracy: Band 4.5

You attempt both simple and longer sentence forms, including a conditional structure in “if we focus a lot on old teaching methods … it will hard for kids to focus.” However, complex sentences are often faulty, and frequent errors in sentence construction, agreement, articles, and verb forms sometimes make the message difficult to follow. For example, “There are number of people give” lacks a correct clause structure, while “They are give there point” has an incorrect verb form. In “there age is to play,” the possessive and sentence structure are also unclear. Practise building accurate basic sentences first, then combine them with clauses using “because,” “if,” and “while.” Check that each sentence has a clear subject and correctly formed verb.

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