Band 5.5 IELTS Writing Task 2 Model Answer

Overall Band Score: 5.5 · Cambridge IELTS 21 · 2026-10-10

IELTS Writing Task 2 question

Some people argue that primary schools focus too much on formal learning.

To what extent do you agree with this opinion?

How important do you think it is for children to play as well as learn in the primary school classroom?

Give reasons for your answer and include any relevant examples from your own knowledge or experience.

Student answer (Band 5.5)

Education is very important pillar of a society. There are two types of education formal and informal education. Formal education provides to get education from books, whereas informal education gives knowledge about how to live in society. I strongly agree, primary school focus on formal learning rather than informal learning.

Our primary school focus on children to grab the knowledge from books rather than society. In Pakistan, Children take a lot of books on her shoulder to go school. To get knowledge from these books is good but not fruitful. The real purpose of primary school to earn money. They do not play role in the building of a character of a primary school student. They do not introduce the informal activities in their primary school. Because a teacher must be hired in this regard. Salary of this teacher will another expense for a primary school.

Whereas, developed countries must be hired a professional person for informal education of a primary school. Children should participate in the curriculam. Some sports activities should be held in the primary school. So that students learn the skills and build the cooperation. This type of activity improve the formal and informal learning skills. Japan and China must be giving training to student in different sports games at the stage of primary level. Resultantly, these countries won the olypmic model in terms of gold and silver in every year.

In short, from my point of view, primary school should focus on formal and informal education. They introduce the sports games in the primary school.

AI examiner evaluation

Task Achievement / Task Response: Band 5.5

Your position is clear: you agree that primary schools give too much attention to formal learning, and your conclusion recommends combining formal and informal education. You also address classroom play by suggesting sports and cooperation-building activities. However, the response only partly develops the task. The claim that schools focus on books is relevant, but the point that their “real purpose” is to earn money is asserted rather than explained or supported. The discussion of Japan and China is also broad and does not clearly show how classroom play benefits children’s learning. Explain the benefits with a specific example, and make your view on how important play is more explicit and consistent throughout.

Coherence and Cohesion: Band 5.5

The response has a recognisable structure, with an introduction, two body paragraphs and a conclusion, and the ideas generally relate to the topic. Some linking expressions, such as “Whereas” and “In short,” help signal movement between points. However, progression within paragraphs is sometimes unclear: the discussion moves from books and school finances to character-building without explaining the connection. “Whereas” does not introduce a clear contrast, and “So that” begins a fragment rather than a complete sentence. References such as “this type of activity” are understandable but could be more precise. Organise each paragraph around one main claim, then explain and illustrate it; use linking words only when their logical relationship is clear.

Lexical Resource: Band 5.0

You use some topic-related vocabulary, including “formal education,” “informal activities,” “character,” “cooperation” and “sports activities,” so the reader can follow the general argument. However, the range is limited and several word choices or collocations are noticeably inaccurate, sometimes making meaning less clear. For example, “grab the knowledge from books” and “won the olypmic model” do not express the intended ideas naturally; “curriculam” and “olypmic” are also misspelled. Repeated use of “primary school” and “education” further limits variety. Build a small set of accurate phrases for discussing play and learning, and check spelling and collocations before submitting. The suggestions below offer more natural alternatives.

Grammatical Range and Accuracy: Band 5.0

The response relies mainly on short, simple statements, with a few attempts to connect ideas using clauses such as “whereas” and “because.” These attempts are often faulty, and frequent errors in sentence structure, articles, agreement and verb forms can make the reader pause. For example, “Education is very important pillar” is missing an article, while “The real purpose of primary school to earn money” lacks a finite verb. In “This type of activity improve,” the subject and verb do not agree, and “Salary of this teacher will another expense” is structurally incomplete. Practise forming complete sentences with a clear subject and verb, then check articles and agreement. More accurate complex sentences would add variety without sacrificing clarity.

See this exact question answered at other band scores. The same prompt compared across bands.

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