Band 5.0 IELTS Writing Task 2 Model Answer

Overall Band Score: 5.0 · Cambridge IELTS 21 · 2026-10-10

IELTS Writing Task 2 question

Some people argue that primary schools focus too much on formal learning.

To what extent do you agree with this opinion?

How important do you think it is for children to play as well as learn in the primary school classroom?

Give reasons for your answer and include any relevant examples from your own knowledge or experience.

Student answer (Band 5.0)

undoubtedly in this modern era education plays and crucial role on future settelment of individuals where few multitued opine that education provider concentrate a lot on formal learning i completly disagree with this statement due to numerous reasons which identify the disadvantages of focusing on formal learnng only.

to commence with learners are facing a heavy pressure of studies in this new gemeration because of various reasons first and foremost one is focusing only on learning instead of physical activities learning continously can affect on the brain of individual by which they do not able to grab to understand the tasks easily and get confused in books only beside this learning through books can provide the imformation which only written in books individual do not able to grab knoweledge of whats happening in wolrd or how to communicate with others or deal with the multitueds .

however there are multiple aspects to outcome from this problem schools should focus on time management of providing sports actvities and formal learning by which learns physical health also get improved and their mental health also get sharp by which individulas learn any thing easily apart from this they communicate with other members also while playing games by which their confidence get boost and communications skills get improved while they get opportunity to play higher competitions in sports

to conclude that i completly disagree with this statement because formal learning affect on mindset of learners whichaffect on grabbing any thing in their mind however there are reason of outcomes like timemanagement by schools and provide learners sports actavities

AI examiner evaluation

Task Achievement / Task Response: Band 5.5

Your position is clear: you disagree that primary schools focus too much on formal learning, and you explain that children also need physical activity and opportunities to communicate. The response addresses both the focus on formal learning and the value of play, with relevant points about mental and physical health, confidence, and communication skills. However, the discussion is only partly developed. For example, you say continuous study can make pupils confused, but do not explain this effect or give a specific example. The second question would also benefit from a direct explanation of how play should fit into classroom learning, rather than focusing mainly on sports. Develop each reason with an example and clarify your position on formal learning.

Coherence and Cohesion: Band 5.5

The response has a recognisable structure: an introduction, two body paragraphs and a conclusion. Linking phrases such as “to commence with,” “however,” and “to conclude” help signal stages in the argument. However, progression within paragraphs is difficult to follow because several ideas are joined into long sequences without clear sentence boundaries. The first body paragraph moves from study pressure to understanding tasks and then to communication, while the relationship between these points is not always explicit. Some connections are also mechanical or unclear, particularly “there are multiple aspects to outcome from this problem.” Use shorter, clearly punctuated sentences, organise each paragraph around one main point, and explain how each supporting idea relates to your argument.

Lexical Resource: Band 4.5

You attempt vocabulary relevant to the topic, including “formal learning,” “physical activities,” “mental health,” and “communication skills.” These choices show that you can express several pertinent ideas. However, the range is limited and many spelling, word-form, and collocation errors make the reader work to understand the message. Examples include “settelment,” “multitueds,” and “get sharp,” which are either misspelled or unnatural in context. Repetition of “learning,” “by which,” and “individual” also limits flexibility. Build a bank of accurate topic vocabulary and check spelling and collocations; for instance, describe how activities “improve pupils’ concentration” rather than saying their mental health “get sharp.”

Grammatical Range and Accuracy: Band 4.5

You attempt to connect ideas using subordinate clauses and longer sentence forms, for example, “because of various reasons” and “while playing games.” This shows some effort to move beyond simple sentences. However, control is weak: many sentences contain errors in clause structure, verb forms, agreement, articles, and punctuation, and these sometimes make the meaning difficult to follow. In “they do not able to grab to understand the tasks,” the verb pattern is faulty; “their confidence get boost” also has incorrect agreement and structure. Several sentences run together without full stops, obscuring the relationships between ideas. Practise writing shorter complete sentences first, then add one accurately formed complex clause at a time, checking subjects, verbs, and punctuation.

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