Band 6.0 IELTS Writing Task 2 Model Answer

Overall Band Score: 6.0 · Cambridge IELTS 21 · 2026-10-10

IELTS Writing Task 2 question

Some people argue that primary schools focus too much on formal learning.

To what extent do you agree with this opinion?

How important do you think it is for children to play as well as learn in the primary school classroom?

Give reasons for your answer and include any relevant examples from your own knowledge or experience.

Student answer (Band 6.0)

In the modern education system, many people argue that primary schools often pay a lot of attention on formal learning. I totally agree with that opinion. Moreover, in my view, play is an important aspect in primary education as it builds important skills.

Firstly, primary schools focus too much on formal education. There are different arrangements for them and they spend their whole day in solving different problems including mathematics. It often becomes a burden for a seven or eight year old child as it is a pressure on his mind. Formal education gives no space for physical education. Owing to this, children become more stressful and their brains slow down to growth. As it is said, a sound mind in a sound body so this paradigm is also substantial. For instance, students in primary institutions have to carry the burden of books and assignments which lead them to pain on their shoulders and mind.

Conversely, in my opinion, playing any physical activity is very important for any primary school children as it develops necessary health and powers the brain to grow. The combination of playing and learning become a powerful tool for the toddlers as it nourishes their body to develop and brain to acquire more information. Healthy children ofthen outsmarts the weak children. To illustrate this, students of Chinese institutions have sharp minds because they balance study with sports. Due to this, playing must be encouraged in schools.

In conclusion, schools must prefer other activities as well with study to engage students in fun and enjoyment. Moreover, it is very essential to have physical and mental assessments in the classrooms.

AI examiner evaluation

Task Achievement / Task Response: Band 6.5

Your position is clear from the introduction: you agree that formal learning receives too much attention, and you explain why play matters. You address both questions, giving reasons about pressure, physical health and learning, and you include examples such as the workload of books and assignments. This meets the task well overall. However, some points are asserted rather than fully explained: for example, the claim that formal education leaves “no space for physical education” is broad, and the comparison with Chinese students is not supported with a specific or clearly relevant example. The conclusion also introduces “physical and mental assessments” without explaining how these relate to your argument. Develop these ideas more precisely to make the response consistently convincing.

Coherence and Cohesion: Band 6.5

The response has a clear overall structure: an introduction, two body paragraphs presenting the main arguments, and a conclusion. The progression from concerns about formal study to the benefits of play is easy to follow, and signposts such as “Firstly,” “Conversely,” and “In conclusion” help guide the reader. This shows sound organisation. At times, however, the linking is mechanical or the relationship between ideas is unclear. “Conversely” suggests a contrast, although the second body paragraph mainly develops the complementary value of play. The sentence about a “sound mind in a sound body” is not smoothly connected to the preceding point, and the final reference to assessments feels abrupt. Use more precise transitions and connect each example directly to the claim it supports.

Lexical Resource: Band 5.5

You use a reasonable range of topic-related vocabulary, including “formal learning,” “physical education,” “burden,” “combination,” and “nourishes,” and your meaning is generally understandable. There are also attempts to use less common expressions, which adds variety. However, several choices are inaccurate or unnatural and sometimes make the message less clear: “pay a lot of attention on” should use a more suitable collocation, “more stressful” is not the natural form here, and “powers the brain to grow” does not clearly express your intended meaning. “Healthy children ofthen outsmarts the weak children” also contains an inappropriate comparison and a spelling error. Aim for precise, natural collocations rather than elevated-sounding phrases, and check spelling and word forms carefully.

Grammatical Range and Accuracy: Band 5.5

You attempt both simple and more complex sentence forms, including clauses beginning “as” and “which,” and most of the argument remains understandable. However, errors in agreement, articles, and sentence construction are noticeable, which limits accuracy. For example, “The combination … become” needs a singular verb, while “any primary school children” has a mismatch between “any” and the plural noun. In “Healthy children ofthen outsmarts,” the verb does not agree with the plural subject. The sentence “As it is said, a sound mind in a sound body so this paradigm is also substantial” also lacks a clear grammatical connection between its clauses. Review subject–verb agreement and build complex sentences with clear clause boundaries; this will make your ideas easier to follow.

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