Band 5.5 IELTS Writing Task 2 Model Answer

Overall Band Score: 5.5 · Cambridge IELTS 21 · 2026-10-10

IELTS Writing Task 2 question

Some people argue that primary schools focus too much on formal learning.

To what extent do you agree with this opinion?

How important do you think it is for children to play as well as learn in the primary school classroom?

Give reasons for your answer and include any relevant examples from your own knowledge or experience.

Student answer (Band 5.5)

Many individuals believe that primary schools place excessive emphasis on formal learning. I largely agree with this view, because children also need opportunities to develop their social skills and physical abilities through play.

One of the major reasons is that excessive formal learning can put pressure on that child. If they spent a considerable amount of time while learning text books and completing home work than they may have fewer opportunities for to develop creativity and interact with their classmates. For example, if a child everyday emphasis on learning and ignore the physical exercises later, the child become less active he or she may feel laziness which can cause detrimental consequences on that child's health.

Pupils ought to play while learning because both are the necessities for becoming a healthy and strong citizen of a community, although Play is crucial for physical development while playing a child's brain learning to tackle problems and suffer from injuries it also teaches the coordination with different players, games can also each communication skills which is necessary for becoming an independent adult. For example a child stated playing in a small age than kept playing for years later, that child is better in both social skills and physical abilities compared to the regular pupils at school.

To conclude, from my perspective children should play while sustain formal studies. Formal studies are helpful for career but it comes with a very high cost children have to spent years on it this can create serious problems with their health.

AI examiner evaluation

Task Achievement / Task Response: Band 6.0

Your position is clear from the introduction: you largely agree that formal learning receives too much emphasis, and you address both the effects of this and the value of play. Relevant points include pressure from extended study, reduced opportunities for creativity and interaction, and play’s contribution to physical and social development. However, some ideas are not fully explained. The example about a child becoming inactive and experiencing health consequences is difficult to follow, while the claim that play teaches children to “suffer from injuries” does not clearly support your argument. Develop each point with a more precise explanation or a realistic example, and make the balance between formal study and play clearer in the conclusion.

Coherence and Cohesion: Band 6.0

The response has a recognisable overall structure: an introduction, two body paragraphs with distinct main ideas, and a conclusion. Phrases such as “One of the major reasons” and “To conclude” help signal the stages of the argument. Within paragraphs, however, several ideas are joined together without clear relationships, particularly in the second body paragraph, where physical development, problem-solving, injuries, coordination, and communication are crowded into one sentence. Some references, such as “that child” and “it,” are also unclear. Use shorter sentences to separate supporting points, and make links between claims explicit so the reader can follow how each example supports your position.

Lexical Resource: Band 5.5

You use a reasonable range of topic-related vocabulary, including “formal learning,” “social skills,” “physical abilities,” “creativity,” and “detrimental consequences.” These choices communicate the main ideas, and there are attempts at more academic phrasing. However, some word choices and collocations are inaccurate or awkward, such as “learning text books,” “feel laziness,” “the necessities for becoming,” and “games can also each communication skills.” “Suffer from injuries” is also an unsuitable way to describe what children learn through play. Aim for natural combinations of words and check word forms and spelling; more precise vocabulary will make your argument clearer without requiring unnecessarily complex expressions.

Grammatical Range and Accuracy: Band 5.0

You attempt both simple and complex sentences, including a conditional structure beginning “If they spent…” and a contrast introduced by “although.” This shows some range, but errors in verb forms, agreement, articles, and sentence construction sometimes make the meaning difficult to follow. For example, “the child become less active” needs a correctly formed verb, and “a child everyday emphasis on learning” lacks a clear grammatical structure. The long sentence beginning “although Play is crucial” also combines several clauses without reliable punctuation or control. Practise building accurate sentences first, then connect them with conjunctions; check subject–verb agreement and tense consistency, and use full stops to prevent run-on sentences.

See this exact question answered at other band scores. The same prompt compared across bands.

Browse more IELTS Writing model answers or get your own writing scored by the same AI examiner.