Band 5.5 IELTS Writing Task 2 Model Answer

Overall Band Score: 5.5 · Cambridge IELTS 21 · 2026-10-10

IELTS Writing Task 2 question

Some people argue that primary schools focus too much on formal learning.

To what extent do you agree with this opinion?

How important do you think it is for children to play as well as learn in the primary school classroom?

Give reasons for your answer and include any relevant examples from your own knowledge or experience.

Student answer (Band 5.5)

Few people argue that primary education concentrates more on formal learning. I completely agree with this opinion because creative learning and extracurricular activities help children to develop in a more natural way.

Creative learning help the children to think more logically. Primary children aren't aware of many things; if we force them to study in a formal way, there may be a chance for them to lose interest in studies. For instance, in my locality we have a school which encourages the children to think creatively by allowing them to do whatever they want. Those children are more active in thinking and understanding the subject compared with the students who are learning more formally.

In addition, extracurricular activities also play a crucial role in children's development. Instead of forcing children completely into studies. Education systems should include extracurricular activities in their curriculum which help the children to learn fine arts of their interest, which will definitely help the children to come out of the stress and also help them to build confidence. For example, children who are learning music in my institute are too confident; they don't have any stage fear while performing.

In conclusion, few people say that primary schooling focuses more on formal learning. I completely agree with the statement: education systems allow students, mainly primary school students, to think logically and naturally by providing them creative models and encouraging them to do whatever they want.

AI examiner evaluation

Task Achievement / Task Response: Band 5.5

Your position is clear: you agree that primary schools place too much emphasis on formal learning, and you give relevant reasons involving creative thinking and extracurricular activities. The examples about a local school and children learning music help make the points concrete. However, the response only partly addresses the second question: it supports creative learning and activities, but does not explain directly how important play is in the classroom or give examples of classroom play. Some claims, such as children being allowed to “do whatever they want,” also need qualification and fuller explanation. The conclusion repeats the main position without resolving this gap. The response is 12 words below the required minimum, which limits the space available to develop both parts of the task.

Coherence and Cohesion: Band 5.5

The essay has a recognisable structure, with an introduction, two body paragraphs and a conclusion. The paragraphs each focus on a related reason, and signposts such as “For instance,” “In addition” and “In conclusion” help readers follow the broad direction. However, progression within paragraphs is sometimes unclear: the first moves from creative thinking to a school allowing children to do “whatever they want” without explaining how this represents classroom play. The phrase “Instead of forcing children completely into studies.” is a sentence fragment, interrupting the flow of the second body paragraph. Repetition of “children,” “help” and the main claim also makes cohesion mechanical. Use clearer links between each claim, explanation and example, and make the conclusion synthesise rather than repeat.

Lexical Resource: Band 5.5

You use a relevant range of topic vocabulary, including “formal learning,” “extracurricular activities,” “curriculum,” “confidence” and “stage fear.” These choices make the subject clear, and the examples are generally understandable. However, the range is limited by repeated words and phrases such as “children,” “help” and “learning,” while some combinations are imprecise or unnatural: “think more logically” does not clearly express the intended benefit of creative learning, and “learn fine arts of their interest” is awkward. “Creative models” in the conclusion is also unclear. Aim for more precise education-related phrasing and vary repeated vocabulary without forcing uncommon expressions. For example, describe specific forms of play or creative classroom activities rather than relying on broad labels.

Grammatical Range and Accuracy: Band 5.5

You attempt both simple and more extended sentences, including conditional structures such as “if we force them to study… there may be a chance” and relative clauses such as “activities… which help the children.” Meaning is usually recoverable, but errors recur in agreement, sentence boundaries and clause construction. For example, “Creative learning help” should have a singular verb, and “Instead of forcing children completely into studies.” is an incomplete sentence. The final sentence is also difficult to follow because several ideas are joined without a clear grammatical relationship. Work on checking subject–verb agreement, completing dependent clauses, and dividing long sentences where needed. More accurate control of these patterns would make your reasoning easier to follow.

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