Band 6.0 IELTS Writing Task 2 Model Answer

Overall Band Score: 6.0 · Cambridge IELTS 21 · 2026-10-10

IELTS Writing Task 2 question

Some people argue that primary schools focus too much on formal learning.

To what extent do you agree with this opinion?

How important do you think it is for children to play as well as learn in the primary school classroom?

Give reasons for your answer and include any relevant examples from your own knowledge or experience.

Student answer (Band 6.0)

Some individuals are of the view that primary schooling emphasises a lot on formal learning. I agree with this view because primary schools mostly use traditional methods and the curriculum is also designed in such a way. I believe that it is essential for children to play as well as learn in the primary school classroom because such activities can be engaging and students will be able to grasp the concepts better.

I agree with the view that primary schools focus more on formal learning. These schools use the traditional learning methods and follow a curriculum that is designed for formal learning. A typical day in primary school classroom would consist of teachers giving lectures to explain a concept, followed by a practice sheet to get hands-on experience. Tests are usually conducted weekly and assessments are carried out monthly. These formal learning methods are used because they help maintain discipline of a classroom while also providing a routine to follow. The exams results can build healthy competition among students and encourage students to perform better.

I believe that it is imperative for children to play as well as learn in the primary school classroom. Thus, primary schools should incorporate engaging activities in their curriculum as well. This is because unlike traditional methods, fun and playful activities can effectively grasp the attention of the students. Students will learn better when they are enjoying themselves. For example, rhymes or poems can be very helpful in making students memorize concepts, such as main parts of the body. When all the students sing these poems together they will not only enjoy themselves but also learn.

Furthermore, playful activites will also be refreshing for students as it would provide them with a break for the repititive lectures. In addition to that, group activites would also help students develop social skills and winning competition would boost their self-confidence.

In conclusion, I agree that primary schools focus on formal learning because they believe it helps maintain discipline, but I think it is important for the children to play as well as learn because such activites would help create more engagement.

AI examiner evaluation

Task Achievement / Task Response: Band 6.5

Your position is clear throughout: you agree that primary schools emphasise formal learning, while also arguing that play should be included. You address both questions and support your views with relevant examples, particularly the classroom routine of lectures, worksheets and tests, and the use of poems to teach body parts. This gives the response a solid, relevant foundation. The explanation of why formal methods are used is less fully developed, however, and the benefits of play are asserted more than explored; for instance, the point about social skills is not illustrated. To strengthen the response further, explain how a balance of play and formal instruction could improve learning, and develop each supporting example with a clearer link to your argument. The 26 words copied from the task prompt are excluded from the stated response count.

Coherence and Cohesion: Band 5.5

The essay has a recognisable structure: an introduction, separate paragraphs for the two main arguments, and a conclusion that restates your position. Ideas within each paragraph are generally relevant and follow a sensible order. However, progression is sometimes list-like, especially in the paragraph describing lectures, worksheets, tests and assessments. Linking phrases such as “Furthermore” and “In addition to that” help signal additions, but the connections between ideas are not always developed, and “Thus” does not clearly show how the preceding point leads to the recommendation. Some repetition of “formal learning” and “play” also makes the flow less smooth. Use clearer cause-and-effect links and vary how you refer back to the main ideas so the argument progresses more naturally.

Lexical Resource: Band 5.5

You use a relevant range of vocabulary for the topic, including “traditional methods,” “curriculum,” “engaging activities,” “social skills” and “self-confidence.” These choices make your meaning clear, and you attempt some more academic phrasing. However, several collocations are awkward or imprecise: “emphasises a lot on” and “activities can effectively grasp the attention” do not sound natural, while “winning competition” is unclear. Spelling slips such as “activites” and “repititive” also reduce accuracy. Aim for more natural word partnerships and check spelling carefully. For example, describe activities as “capturing students’ attention,” and specify whether competition is friendly or healthy. This would make your vocabulary more precise and fluent.

Grammatical Range and Accuracy: Band 6.0

You use a mix of simple and complex sentence forms, including subordinate clauses such as “because they help maintain discipline” and “when they are enjoying themselves.” Most sentences communicate the intended meaning, and the overall argument remains easy to follow. Some grammatical errors persist, particularly with articles, prepositions and sentence construction. For example, “emphasises a lot on formal learning” has an incorrect preposition pattern, and “in primary school classroom” needs an article or plural form. In “activities can be engaging and students will be able to grasp the concepts better,” the coordination would be clearer with punctuation or a linking word. Review article use and common verb patterns, while continuing to use varied sentence structures.

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