Band 6.0 IELTS Writing Task 2 Model Answer

Overall Band Score: 6.0 · Cambridge IELTS 21 · 2026-10-10

IELTS Writing Task 2 question

Some people argue that primary schools focus too much on formal learning.

To what extent do you agree with this opinion?

How important do you think it is for children to play as well as learn in the primary school classroom?

Give reasons for your answer and include any relevant examples from your own knowledge or experience.

Student answer (Band 6.0)

Some people believe that primary school more emphasis on formal education. I agree that academic education is essential for young children but I partially disagree to opinion because play is also equally important for the overall development.

Academic education is important for the foundation knowledge of the child. Reading, writing and mathematics will only come with help of formal learning. Academic education has syllabus which teaches discipline to the student. However, formal learning gives students academic pressure to complete the course. It also reduce physical activity and creativity in young children.

On the other hand play is also essential for the holistic development of children. With play children gets change to interact with other children which increases collaborations and social skills. For instance playing with block develops the critical thinking and problem solving skill in children. Physical development also remain good and stress is reduce with the help of playing games.However, if learning is not through text books then we have less structured learning or can say do not have structure syllabus which means children might not develop discipline. It can also happen unplanned activities may also distract the learning.

In my opinion, structured education should be combine with play-based learning. For example, teacher should teach the mathematics concept with the help of the games and givr task to children in form of projects which will lead to balance education. Balance education helps children to develop academic knowledge and essential life skills for the future.

In conclusion, although formal learning is necessary for building a strong academic foundation, play is equally important for children's overall development. Primary schools should therefore maintain a balance between the two approaches.

AI examiner evaluation

Task Achievement / Task Response: Band 6.5

Your position is clear: you support formal education while arguing that play is equally important, and the conclusion restates this balanced view. You address both questions by explaining the value of academic foundations and the benefits of play, including social interaction, problem-solving and physical development. These relevant points meet the task well. However, some ideas are asserted rather than fully explained: for example, you say formal learning reduces creativity and physical activity, but do not show how or give a specific example. The point about play potentially weakening structure is also brief. To strengthen the response, develop each main claim with a clearer explanation or a concrete classroom example, while maintaining your balanced position.

Coherence and Cohesion: Band 6.5

The essay has a clear overall structure, moving from the value of formal learning to the benefits and possible limitations of play, then to your recommendation and conclusion. Paragraphing helps the reader follow this progression, and signposts such as “On the other hand” and “In conclusion” make the relationships between sections clear. The organisation is effective, though some connections within paragraphs are less smooth. The long sentence beginning “However, if learning is not through text books” shifts from the benefits of play to its limitations without a clear transition, and “However” appears again immediately after the example. Use linking phrases more selectively and separate contrasting points into clearer sentences. More precise referencing would also help the reader track ideas across the paragraph.

Lexical Resource: Band 5.5

You use relevant vocabulary for the topic, including “formal learning,” “holistic development,” “social skills,” “critical thinking” and “play-based learning.” These choices show an attempt to discuss education beyond basic terms. However, several noticeable word-choice, collocation and word-form errors make some phrases awkward, such as “foundation knowledge,” “gets change to interact,” “increases collaborations” and “balance education.” Spelling slips such as “givr” also reduce accuracy. The intended meaning is generally understandable, but the range is not yet consistently controlled. Build accuracy by learning common word partnerships and checking whether nouns and verbs fit naturally together; for example, children can “have an opportunity to interact,” and play can “develop collaboration skills.”

Grammatical Range and Accuracy: Band 5.5

You attempt a mix of simple statements and longer sentences, including clauses with “although,” “which” and “if,” so the response shows some structural variety. The main ideas remain understandable, but errors in agreement, verb forms, articles and sentence construction occur across the essay. Examples include “primary school more emphasis,” “play children gets,” “Physical development also remain good,” and “should be combine.” Some sentences also join contrasting ideas awkwardly, particularly the extended sentence beginning “However, if learning is not through text books.” Review subject–verb agreement and verb patterns, and use shorter sentences when a complex structure becomes difficult to control. More accurate forms would make your reasoning easier to follow.

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