Band 6.0 IELTS Writing Task 2 Model Answer

Overall Band Score: 6.0 · Cambridge IELTS 21 · 2026-10-10

IELTS Writing Task 2 question

Some people argue that primary schools focus too much on formal learning.

To what extent do you agree with this opinion?

How important do you think it is for children to play as well as learn in the primary school classroom?

Give reasons for your answer and include any relevant examples from your own knowledge or experience.

Student answer (Band 6.0)

In the 21st century, many individuals believe that primary school are giving more importance to formal learnings among the learners. I firmly believe that this is bad development, and this essay will support the viewpoint of a balance between sports and academic for children with the relevant examples in the upcoming paragraphs.

Several reasons combine to ensure that primary focus on academic is not an ideal practice. The major reason for this claim is the increasing academic burden among the young one. This can be understood from a learner's perspectives as spending 7 to 8 hours in school as a daily routine at a very young age could have a bad impacts on mental state of mind. This is to say that excessive practice on academics could cause depresion to young age students. to illustrate this, many schools are making more atempts to encourage study of learners, so they arrange extra study sessions after regular school hours, which is very frustrating for them. As a result, they become more week in a subject instead of being proficient in it. Therefore, focusing majority of time on academic could have a negative outcome.

Furthermore, it is significantly necessary to encourage young children to participate in sports activities. To understand this, it has several advantages of sports in young children. Firstly, it gives a break from the academics. The primary result from this is they could perform better

in the sports as well as in a studies. Secondly, leisure activities also help their students to become physically fit. This means that young students become more stronger to fight with multiple disease. Lastly, it will also improve confidence in young one. In other words, Achieving sporting goals helps people develop self-esteem and confidence. Therefore, playing sports have multiple benefits.

To summerise this discussion, it would be naive for children to only focus on formal learning. However, physical exercise and sports are as important as academics.

AI examiner evaluation

Task Achievement / Task Response: Band 6.5

Your position is clear: you regard an excessive emphasis on formal study as harmful and support balancing it with sport and play. You address both parts of the prompt, giving relevant reasons such as the pressure of long school days, the value of breaks, physical fitness, and confidence. The example of extra study sessions helps illustrate the pressure children may face. However, some points are asserted rather than fully explained: for instance, you say sports help pupils perform better academically, but do not explain how this happens or provide a specific example. The discussion also focuses mainly on sport, while the prompt asks more broadly about play in the classroom. Develop that distinction and extend your supporting examples to make the response more complete.

Coherence and Cohesion: Band 6.5

The response has a clear overall structure: an introduction, two body paragraphs with distinct purposes, and a concluding summary. Ideas generally progress logically, and signposts such as “Firstly,” “Secondly,” and “Lastly” help readers follow the benefits listed. This clear organisation is a strength. At times, however, the linking feels mechanical, particularly where several points are introduced in a list and each is followed by a formulaic explanation. Some references are also unclear, as in “the primary result from this,” where the reader must infer what “this” refers to. To strengthen progression, connect each reason more explicitly to the central argument and vary the transitions. A more developed paragraph on classroom play would also create a clearer link to the full scope of the question.

Lexical Resource: Band 5.5

You use relevant vocabulary for the topic, including “academic burden,” “mental state,” “physically fit,” and “self-esteem,” and the meaning is generally understandable. There are also attempts to use more formal expressions, such as “naive” and “proficient.” However, word choice and collocation are often inaccurate or unnatural, including “formal learnings,” “a bad development,” “more stronger,” and “fight with multiple disease.” Spelling errors such as “depresion,” “atempt,” “week” for “weak,” and “summerise” also reduce accuracy. These issues make the vocabulary less precise and sometimes distract the reader, despite the relevant range. Build a bank of natural topic collocations and check spelling and word forms carefully when editing.

Grammatical Range and Accuracy: Band 5.5

You attempt a mixture of simple and complex sentences, including clauses with “as,” “which,” and “instead of,” and the overall meaning can usually be followed. Some sentence patterns are controlled, such as “Achieving sporting goals helps people develop self-esteem and confidence.” However, errors in agreement, articles, plurals, and sentence construction remain noticeable. Examples include “primary school are,” “a bad impacts,” “in a studies,” and “playing sports have.” The sentence beginning “This is to say that” is followed by a fragment-like lowercase “to illustrate this,” and punctuation and capitalisation need more consistent control. Practise checking subject–verb agreement and noun phrases, then proofread each sentence for a complete structure. More accurate complex sentences would improve control without sacrificing variety.

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