Band 5.5 IELTS Writing Task 2 Model Answer

Overall Band Score: 5.5 · Cambridge IELTS 21 · 2026-10-10

IELTS Writing Task 2 question

Some people argue that primary schools focus too much on formal learning.

To what extent do you agree with this opinion?

How important do you think it is for children to play as well as learn in the primary school classroom?

Give reasons for your answer and include any relevant examples from your own knowledge or experience.

Student answer (Band 5.5)

In recent years, primary school education has become a widely debated issue. Some people believe that primary schools focus too much on formal learning, whereas others believe that children playing in primary school plays a more vital role in mental, social, and emotional development. I largely agree that it is more important for children to play in the classroom than to academic learning.

There are several reasons why I agree with this opinion. The most significant reason is that young children play games in the classroom for physical and mental growth. Children can improve their communication skills, creativity, and ability to work in a team.For instance, group games teach students how to cooperate with others and solve problems. Furthermore, physical activities help children remain healthy and active.

There are several reasons why focusing too much on formal learning can have negative effects on children. The most significant reason is that excessive academic pressure can make young students feel tired and lose interest in studying. For example, children who spend long hours reading and writing may become stressed and less motivated. As a result, their overall learning experience may be negatively affected.

There are several reasons why focusing too much on formal learning can have negative effects on children. The most significant reason is that excessive academic pressure can make young students feel tired and lose interest in studying. For example, children who spend long hours reading and writing may become stressed and less motivated. As a result, their overall learning experience may be negatively affected.

To summarise, although formal learning plays a vital role in primary school, but their are lot of disadvantages in childrens. I largely agree that play is important for children's mental and physical development. This is mainly because children can improve communication skills and teamwork with different groups in the classroom, which can enhance their creativity and help in the future.

AI examiner evaluation

Task Achievement / Task Response: Band 5.5

Your position is clear: you largely agree that play is important, and you give relevant reasons, including teamwork, creativity, physical health, and the risk of academic pressure reducing motivation. However, the response only partly develops the task. It does not clearly explain how much formal learning should remain alongside play, and the second question—how important play is within the classroom—is addressed mainly through general benefits rather than a developed explanation or example. The paragraph about pressure is repeated almost word for word, which limits the range of support. The conclusion also introduces an unclear contrast between formal learning and play. Develop each point with a specific classroom example and explain how play and academic learning can be balanced.

Coherence and Cohesion: Band 4.5

The response has a recognisable introduction, body paragraphs, and conclusion, and phrases such as “For instance” and “As a result” help signal examples and consequences. However, progression is weakened by repeating the paragraph beginning “There are several reasons why focusing too much on formal learning…” almost exactly. This repetition takes the place of a new supporting point and makes the essay feel circular. The repeated opening formula “There are several reasons” is also mechanical, while the relationship between the first body paragraph and the task’s two questions is not always clear. Improve organisation by giving each body paragraph a distinct purpose, removing duplicated material, and using clear topic sentences that connect directly to the question.

Lexical Resource: Band 5.5

You use a relevant range of vocabulary for the topic, including “communication skills,” “creativity,” “cooperate,” “academic pressure,” and “motivated.” These choices make your main ideas understandable. However, the range is somewhat repetitive, especially with repeated references to “children,” “play,” and “formal learning,” and some phrases are not natural or precise. For example, “children playing in primary school plays a more vital role” is awkward, and “more important … than to academic learning” does not express the comparison accurately. The conclusion’s “lot of disadvantages in childrens” is also unclear. Aim for more natural collocations and vary repeated terms, such as using “pupils,” “classroom activities,” or “structured instruction” where appropriate.

Grammatical Range and Accuracy: Band 5.5

You attempt both simple and more developed sentence forms, including a conditional-style explanation with “children who spend long hours reading and writing may become stressed.” Most of the message remains understandable, but errors in sentence construction and agreement are noticeable. In “children playing in primary school plays,” the subject and verb do not agree; “more important … than to academic learning” is not a correctly formed comparison. The conclusion contains further errors in “although … but,” “their are,” and “childrens,” and the sentence beginning “This is mainly because” has an unclear connection to its preceding clause. Practise accurate comparisons, subject–verb agreement, and complete sentence structures, then proofread punctuation and apostrophes.

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