Band 6.5 IELTS Writing Task 2 Model Answer

Overall Band Score: 6.5 · Cambridge IELTS 21 · 2026-10-10

IELTS Writing Task 2 question

Some people argue that primary schools focus too much on formal learning.

To what extent do you agree with this opinion?

How important do you think it is for children to play as well as learn in the primary school classroom?

Give reasons for your answer and include any relevant examples from your own knowledge or experience.

Student answer (Band 6.5)

Most argue that primary level education mainly focus on formal learning. I totally agree with the statement because such learning cultivates a child with the critical thinking. I believe it is also important for children to play alongside academics to develop practical skills.

In my opinion, focusing on child's formal learning improves their intellectual learning and their perspective of thinking. The primary reason is that a child's mind is continuously developing and incorporating knowledge and academic information can strenghten their neuronal activity, which improves their ability to understand complex structures readily. As a consequence, they acquire high-level information and cultivate critical thinking. For example, reading a book to primary children since nursery can enhance their language acquisition and foster effective communication skills later in their lives.

Moreover, I also believe that it is an essential component to add extra-cirruculum activities with formal learning. This is due to the fact that it builds problem-solving abilities in a child and also improves their vocational skills. Furthermore, it also promotes hollistic development which is important for child's overall well-being. Consequently, with academic excellence a child also succeed in essential skills and practical development. For instance, Beacon House School System promotes their primary children to take equally part in sports and studies, which in results have shown that their children are successfull in every aspect of life and career.

In conclusion, I completely agree with the view that some schools pay extra attention on formal learning merely to broden children' way of thinking and improve their academics. Apart from this, I also believe that playing along with studies is also vital component as it helps to build vocational and career-building skills.

AI examiner evaluation

Task Achievement / Task Response: Band 6.5

Your position is clear: you agree that formal learning receives substantial attention, while also arguing that play is important for practical development. You address both questions and support your points with explanations about intellectual growth and skills, plus examples such as reading to children and Beacon House School System. This meets the task well, but the two parts are not equally developed. The case for formal learning is explained in more detail, whereas the benefits of play are listed broadly, with limited explanation of how classroom play builds problem-solving or vocational skills. The school example also makes a sweeping claim about children succeeding in every aspect of life. Develop this point with a specific classroom activity and a more measured explanation of its effects.

Coherence and Cohesion: Band 6.5

The response has a clear overall structure: an introduction states your view, two body paragraphs develop separate reasons, and the conclusion restates your position. Connectors such as “Moreover,” “Furthermore,” and “Consequently” help signal relationships between ideas. This gives the essay a coherent progression, although some linking is mechanical or repetitive: “also” appears several times, and “Consequently” is used where the cause-and-effect relationship is not fully established. Some references are also unclear, particularly “which in results have shown,” where the reader must infer what “which” refers to. Use fewer formulaic transitions and make each connection explicit—for example, explain directly how a particular play activity develops a named skill.

Lexical Resource: Band 6.0

You use an adequate range of topic-related vocabulary, including “critical thinking,” “language acquisition,” “problem-solving abilities,” and “holistic development.” These choices help communicate your main ideas, and you attempt some less common terms. However, several word choices and collocations are inaccurate or awkward, such as “cultivates a child with,” “intellectual learning,” and “take equally part.” Spelling errors, including “strenghten,” “extra-cirruculum,” “hollistic,” and “successfull,” also reduce accuracy. These issues do not prevent the reader from understanding your argument, but they limit precision and naturalness. Prioritise accurate collocations and check spelling; for instance, use “develops critical thinking” and “participate equally in sports and academic study.”

Grammatical Range and Accuracy: Band 6.0

You use a mix of simple and complex sentence forms, including subordinate clauses such as “because a child’s mind is continuously developing” and “which improves their ability to understand complex structures.” Most sentences communicate the intended meaning, but some grammatical errors remain. Subject–verb agreement is inconsistent in “primary level education mainly focus” and “a child also succeed”; articles and possessives are also missing or awkward in “focusing on child’s formal learning” and “important for child’s overall well-being.” The final sentence, “which in results have shown,” has an unclear grammatical construction. Review agreement, articles, and sentence structure, and revise longer sentences to ensure each clause has a clear subject and verb.

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