Band 6.0 IELTS Writing Task 2 Model Answer

Overall Band Score: 6.0 · Cambridge IELTS 21 · 2026-10-10

IELTS Writing Task 2 question

Some people argue that primary schools focus too much on formal learning.

To what extent do you agree with this opinion?

How important do you think it is for children to play as well as learn in the primary school classroom?

Give reasons for your answer and include any relevant examples from your own knowledge or experience.

Student answer (Band 6.0)

Nowadays, it is frequently argued towards the focus of formal learning in primary schools. I completely disagree with this view, primarily because formal learning restricts students learning to classrooms only. Students are the future so they should be dealt with care, they should be allowed to play as it will help them to build good coginitive skills. They will be more physically active and schools can also introduce game based learning which will be a efficient way for students learning.

It is essential for students to get formal learning like ethical and moral values, but it should not be restricted to classes only, as it will exacerbate the message of learning. Schools can introduce practical base learning for such subjects which will assist students in better learning. Additionally, game based learning will help students to score better and will create a healthy competition among all learners, it will have a good impact in slow learners too.

Schools are accountable for hunting talent in students, they should focus on the playing time of students as well. Getting more time for physical activities will not only sharpen the brains of students but also have a postivie impacts towards the academics. It will help to discover the hidden sports talent in primary students. Learns will also be able to diminish their mental health issues, anxiety, and depression, if playing time is allocated. Students mental health should be the utmost priority of primary schools.

In conclusion, no matter how important formal learning is for students, playing time should be equal as well. I firmly believe that playing is as essential as learning, it helps students build better conginitive skills, their focus sharpens, and keeps them physically active. Lastly, game based learning can also be taken up as an initiative for primary schools.

AI examiner evaluation

Task Achievement / Task Response: Band 6.0

Your position is clear: you disagree that formal learning should dominate and argue that play is equally important. You address both parts of the prompt by discussing classroom learning and the value of play, including physical activity, cognitive development, and mental health. These are relevant points, but some are asserted rather than explained. For example, you say game-based learning will help students “score better” and benefit “slow learners,” without showing how or giving a specific example. The discussion of formal learning is also less fully developed than the case for play. To strengthen the response, explain how play and structured lessons can be balanced in a primary classroom, and support key claims with a concrete example or clearer reasoning.

Coherence and Cohesion: Band 6.0

The response has a coherent overall structure: an introduction states your view, two body paragraphs develop related reasons, and a conclusion restates your position. Ideas generally progress from learning methods to the wider benefits of play. Linking expressions such as “Additionally,” “Moreover” is not used, but “In conclusion” and “Lastly” help signal stages of the argument. However, some connections are mechanical or unclear. For instance, “formal learning restricts students learning to classrooms only” does not clearly explain how this supports your disagreement, and several ideas are joined in long sentences with commas. The repeated focus on game-based learning also limits progression. Use clearer topic sentences and explain the relationship between each claim, while varying transitions and avoiding comma-linked independent clauses.

Lexical Resource: Band 5.5

You use a reasonable range of topic vocabulary, including “cognitive skills,” “practical base learning,” “healthy competition,” and “mental health issues.” These choices show an attempt to discuss education beyond basic terms. However, several word choices and collocations are inaccurate or unnatural, such as “argued towards the focus,” “hunting talent,” and “a positive impacts.” Spelling errors in “coginitive,” “postivie,” and “conginitive” also reduce accuracy. Some phrases, including “students are the future,” are broad and do not add much precision. Aim for natural combinations such as “identify students’ talents” and “hands-on learning,” and check spelling and word forms carefully. More precise vocabulary would help express your ideas without changing their meaning.

Grammatical Range and Accuracy: Band 5.5

You use both simple and complex sentence forms, including clauses with “because,” “as,” and “if,” and your meaning is generally understandable. Some sentences are controlled, such as “It will help to discover the hidden sports talent in primary students.” However, there are errors in agreement, articles, possessives, and sentence boundaries. For example, “a efficient way” needs an article that agrees with the following sound, while “a positive impacts” has a mismatch between article and plural noun. In “Students are the future so they should be dealt with care, they should be allowed to play,” two independent clauses are joined with a comma. Review these patterns and use full stops or conjunctions to connect complete ideas. Greater accuracy across varied structures would improve clarity.

See this exact question answered at other band scores. The same prompt compared across bands.

Browse more IELTS Writing model answers or get your own writing scored by the same AI examiner.