Band 5.5 IELTS Writing Task 2 Model Answer

Overall Band Score: 5.5 · Cambridge IELTS 21 · 2026-10-10

IELTS Writing Task 2 question

Some people argue that primary schools focus too much on formal learning.

To what extent do you agree with this opinion?

How important do you think it is for children to play as well as learn in the primary school classroom?

Give reasons for your answer and include any relevant examples from your own knowledge or experience.

Student answer (Band 5.5)

In recent years formal learing of primary schools has became a matter of considerable debate. While some people contend that schools should focus extermely on formal learing , others maintan that childern need to have fun types of learing as well. Although there are valid arguments on both sides. I firmily believe the importance of the joyful types of learning in the primary schools.

On the one hand, those who support the formal type of education argue that the these type is what makes the student understand all the information from the lessons. This is primarily due to they were educated in this old way when they were in same age. Consequently, they may not be able to get the different types of the modern education. A case in point is student who is learning by some activities which may include some plays they think this is a waste of time. Hence, it is understandable why some persons hold this view.

On the other hand, I strongly believe in the modern types of education. In other words, making the leaning such as a play or a joyful time make the student involve more in the details and. As a direct consquence, peiples get the information by interaction not only by reading and writing so the understand the information in the most effecient way and also makes them more attracted to knowledge and school. In instance, the education of the countries which use the modern and entertiment methods of learning are high inthe globle ranking of eduction than the others which still rely on the formal learning.

To conclude, despite the fact that fromal learning was the effect wat for long time, I believe that the development of the education methods have improve its result. This is therefore crucial for countries to start depend more on the modern techniques of education in order to provide a joyful journey of learning for childern.

AI examiner evaluation

Task Achievement / Task Response: Band 5.5

Your position is clear overall: you support making learning enjoyable and interactive, and you acknowledge why some people favour formal teaching. This addresses both questions, but the discussion is uneven. The first body paragraph mainly explains that supporters are accustomed to traditional education; it does not fully establish why formal learning may be valuable for primary pupils. Your support for play is more relevant, especially the point that interaction can increase engagement, but the claim about countries’ global education rankings is broad and unsupported. To strengthen the response, explain more specifically how play complements core skills such as literacy or numeracy, and develop a concrete example. The conclusion restates your view, though it could more directly answer how important play is alongside formal learning.

Coherence and Cohesion: Band 6.0

The response has a recognisable structure, with an introduction, two contrasting body paragraphs and a conclusion. The progression from the case for formal education to your preference for interactive learning is generally easy to follow. Linking phrases such as “On the one hand,” “On the other hand,” and “To conclude” help signal this organisation. However, some connections are mechanical or unclear: “In other words” does not clearly restate the preceding point, and “As a direct consequence” introduces a sentence whose relationship to the previous idea is difficult to track. The sentence ending “details and.” also interrupts the flow. Use clearer links between each claim and its explanation, and ensure each paragraph develops one central idea in a complete sequence.

Lexical Resource: Band 5.0

You attempt vocabulary relevant to the topic, including “formal education,” “interaction,” “modern techniques,” and “attracted to knowledge.” However, the range is limited by repeated phrases such as “types of education” and “formal learning,” while several inaccurate word choices or collocations make meaning less clear. For example, “joyful types of learning” and “make the student involve more in the details” are not natural expressions in this context. Spelling errors such as “learing,” “childern,” “effecient,” and “eduction” are also noticeable and reduce precision. Build a more accurate set of topic-specific phrases, and check spelling and word forms carefully. More natural alternatives are provided below.

Grammatical Range and Accuracy: Band 5.0

You attempt both simple and complex sentences, including a concession in the introduction and cause-and-effect structures such as “This is primarily due to…” and “As a direct consequence…”. However, complex sentences are often faulty, and errors in verb forms, agreement, articles and sentence boundaries sometimes make the meaning difficult to follow. Examples include “has became,” “the these type,” and “making the leaning … make the student involve.” The opening fragment “Although there are valid arguments on both sides” is not joined to a main clause, and “the details and.” is an incomplete construction. Practise building accurate sentences around one main clause, then add subordinate clauses only when their grammatical links are clear. Review subject–verb agreement and past participles.

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