Band 5.5 IELTS Writing Task 2 Model Answer

Overall Band Score: 5.5 · Cambridge IELTS 21 · 2026-10-10

IELTS Writing Task 2 question

Some people argue that primary schools focus too much on formal learning.

To what extent do you agree with this opinion?

How important do you think it is for children to play as well as learn in the primary school classroom?

Give reasons for your answer and include any relevant examples from your own knowledge or experience.

Student answer (Band 5.5)

People who argue that primary school more focus on formal learning have their positive point of view and those who think there is need to more focus on other learning as wel with formal learning also have their positive personal opinion. As per my opinion i think the more focus on formal learning from school have more positive impact on students leaning.

Education sector which focus on education more in primary level on children as the process of adaption in that age is far more quick as comapred to the older students.The teen are easily to memorise information regarding any subjects and in that age it is easy to discovered the child area of interest.It will help him to choose his future carrer path way to ealry on his interest of learning on that field more wisely.

where as such school which design their ciriculum with playing activities for their students find them more physically fit and creative.The process of learning through such activities will help children to memorise information more easily.Which help them to develope their habit to handle multiple work at a same time in future.

We have a great example of china where they introduced such education institutions which primairly focused on formal education to identitfy the future carrer of student as soon as possible so they have penelty of time for his carrer counselling.That why we saw many young entrepeuners in china invent multi billion dollar platforms at such young age.

In conclusion educational institue which focus more on student formal education found their student to choose their future carrer more earlier. Where as those educational sector which involved playing activites in primary level found their children multitasker.Where i think as the focused on formal education on primary level give far more positive edge on children future carrer goals as compared to other others aspect of seeking education in the clasroom.

AI examiner evaluation

Task Achievement / Task Response: Band 6.0

You give a clear overall view: you believe formal learning has the greater positive impact, and you also acknowledge that play can improve fitness, creativity and memory. This addresses both questions, and the China example is intended to support your position. However, the two sides are not developed equally: the benefits of play are listed but not weighed against formal learning, and the link between early formal education and young entrepreneurs is asserted rather than explained. The response also shifts from classroom learning to identifying career interests and career counselling, which only partly answers how important play is in the primary classroom. Develop each main claim with a specific explanation or example, and make your judgement about the balance between play and formal learning more explicit.

Coherence and Cohesion: Band 5.5

The response has a recognisable structure, moving from your opinion to arguments about formal learning and play, then an example and a conclusion. Paragraphing helps distinguish these points. However, progression within paragraphs is sometimes difficult to follow: the discussion moves quickly from children memorising information to choosing a career, and the China example does not clearly connect its claims to the earlier classroom argument. Linking phrases such as “whereas” and “in conclusion” are used, but some connections are mechanical or unclear, and references such as “that age” and “such activities” do not always make the relationship between ideas precise. Organise each body paragraph around one main claim, then explain and illustrate it before moving on.

Lexical Resource: Band 5.0

You attempt vocabulary relevant to education and future outcomes, including “formal learning,” “curriculum,” “physically fit,” “creative,” and “career counselling.” This gives you some range, but word choice, collocation and spelling errors are noticeable and sometimes make the meaning harder to understand. Examples include “positive personal opinion,” “adaption,” “penelty of time,” and “multitasker”; several intended words are unclear or used unnaturally. Repetition of “focus,” “learning,” and “career” also limits flexibility. Build accuracy with common academic collocations before reaching for less familiar expressions, and check spelling and word forms carefully. For example, “focus on formal education” and “identify a child’s interests” would express your ideas more naturally.

Grammatical Range and Accuracy: Band 5.0

You attempt both simple statements and longer sentences with clauses, such as the sentence beginning “where as such school…” and the explanation of how activities may help children learn. However, complex sentences are often faulty, and errors in agreement, articles, verb forms and sentence boundaries can make the reader work to understand your meaning. For instance, “schools … have their positive point of view” has an unclear subject–verb relationship, while “The process … Which help” is an incomplete sentence with incorrect agreement. Capitalisation and punctuation are also inconsistent, particularly at sentence openings. Practise building accurate sentences with one main clause and a clearly attached supporting clause; then check subject–verb agreement and whether each sentence is complete.

See this exact question answered at other band scores. The same prompt compared across bands.

Browse more IELTS Writing model answers or get your own writing scored by the same AI examiner.