Band 5.5 IELTS Writing Task 2 Model Answer

Overall Band Score: 5.5 · Cambridge IELTS 21 · 2026-10-10

IELTS Writing Task 2 question

Some people argue that primary schools focus too much on formal learning.

To what extent do you agree with this opinion?

How important do you think it is for children to play as well as learn in the primary school classroom?

Give reasons for your answer and include any relevant examples from your own knowledge or experience.

Student answer (Band 5.5)

The way a child is provided information in his childhood plays a huge role in his development. It is widely debated that whether they should be provided formal education or should it include playing as well. Most people argue that a child's education should be only specific to formal education whereas in my opinion it should include playing alongside as well.

To begin with, most people believe that formal education is the only way a children can learn in primary school. Although it is a bit orthodox to think that way, since it is not like that one size fits all. In the past, although this system of formal education was focused mainly but today it is widely criticized.

In my opinion, i would completely disagree with the fact that formal education should be the only source of education.As human's are visual creatures they tend to get attracted to what they saw and learn more from that. Such as, kids these days are more drawn towards digital devices that make them highly addicted to screens and getting their attention to the visuals is more easier. Same goes with the rhymes that includes letters as well as poems along with them. It's easier for the kids to learn from that compared to that formal learning.

When it comes to play along with learning in the primary education system, i think playing along with learning is the best way a child can learn anything. For example, previously an abacus was used by kids, playing that abacus was also a part of learning. Since it use to had letters and numbers engraved on it.That makes it easier for anyone to learn through play.

In Conclusion, playing plays a huge role in a child growth and the only focus should never be solely on formal education.

AI examiner evaluation

Task Achievement / Task Response: Band 5.5

Your position is clear: you disagree that formal learning should be the only focus and argue that play should accompany it. You address both questions, especially by explaining that children may learn through visual material and by giving the abacus as an example of learning through play. However, the discussion is only partly developed. The paragraph about what “most people believe” gives little explanation of why schools emphasise formal education, and the examples do not fully show how play supports learning in a classroom. The point about digital devices also shifts towards screen attraction rather than explaining a teaching benefit. Develop each reason with a clearer link to children’s learning and include a more specific classroom example.

Coherence and Cohesion: Band 5.5

The response has a recognisable structure, with an introduction, separate body paragraphs and a conclusion, and the reader can follow your overall position. Basic signposting such as “To begin with,” “In my opinion,” and “In Conclusion” helps identify the stages of the argument. However, progression between ideas is sometimes unclear: the paragraph about formal education moves from past practice to present criticism without explaining the connection, while the digital-device example does not lead smoothly to the point about rhymes. Some linking is repetitive or awkward, including repeated use of “Although” and “Since.” Use topic sentences that state each paragraph’s main point, then connect examples explicitly to that point and vary your transitions.

Lexical Resource: Band 5.5

You use enough vocabulary to communicate the main ideas, including relevant terms such as “formal education,” “development,” “visual,” and “abacus.” There are also attempts at more specific phrasing, such as “one size fits all” and “drawn towards digital devices.” However, the range is limited and several word choices or collocations are noticeably inaccurate or unnatural. For example, “provided information” is not a natural way to describe how children are taught, and “playing that abacus” does not clearly express using it as a learning activity. “A child growth” is also an incorrect word form. Choose precise education-related expressions and check collocations; this will make your meaning clearer and more natural.

Grammatical Range and Accuracy: Band 5.0

You attempt a mixture of simple and complex sentences, including clauses beginning with “Although” and “Since,” but control is inconsistent. Errors occur in agreement and sentence construction, as in “a children can learn,” “rhymes that includes,” and “it use to had letters.” There are also problems with articles, possessives and punctuation, such as “a child growth,” “human's,” and the missing space after the full stop in “education.As.” Some longer sentences become difficult to follow, particularly the sentence beginning “Although it is a bit orthodox.” Practise building accurate complex sentences and check subject–verb agreement, verb forms and sentence boundaries. More reliable control of these basics would make your argument easier to read.

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