Band 5.0 IELTS Writing Task 2 Model Answer

Overall Band Score: 5.0 · Cambridge IELTS 21 · 2026-10-10

IELTS Writing Task 2 question

Some people argue that primary schools focus too much on formal learning.

To what extent do you agree with this opinion?

How important do you think it is for children to play as well as learn in the primary school classroom?

Give reasons for your answer and include any relevant examples from your own knowledge or experience.

Student answer (Band 5.0)

The primary school are give to much concentrate on the formal learning, i will agree on that, but this is not right way the development of the students. The Physical ability development in childern is very important for there future perspective.

Firstly, primary schools are only motivated towards the formal learning to children growth, but this is not a appropriate way the develop children. Children spend some time on the playground there thinking ability also increased, might be some students also passionate about the sport, they can find there interest in sport. The Primary school classroom also takes some non formal learning the childrens personal growth, by taking this activity student improves there daily life skills. Also by using this activity the student will grow personally they can take knowledge what outside of formal worls are happen. in the example are the student are always ready with the some kind of emergency's for the future that will help them to think wider.

In other hand, we can only consider the formal learning for primary schools , Student are way to smart for there academic but not good with the daily life activities. Also we dont give chidren's the play there personal body development are not gonna be stronger, it can impact on the there future body strength. Along that learn primary school classroom also teaches to behave in the society, that aslo important factor in the children development. In the example of many student only focus on the studies rather than sports or classroom that can impact on there personal relationship with family and friends.

In conclusion, for the childern the Ground activities and the classroom activities are more Imporatnt for there the overall growth as well as there future development, beside that there is formal learning is also important for body personality.

AI examiner evaluation

Task Achievement / Task Response: Band 5.5

You address both parts of the question: you agree that primary schools give too much attention to formal learning, and you argue that play and classroom activities support children’s wider development. Relevant points include physical strength, interests in sport, life skills, and relationships. However, the position is not consistently precise: the opening says formal learning is excessive, while the conclusion calls both kinds of activity important without clearly stating how much you agree. Several claims are also under-developed, such as the suggestion that play prepares pupils for emergencies; a specific example would make this convincing. Explain more directly how play complements academic learning and develop fewer points with clearer support.

Coherence and Cohesion: Band 5.0

The response has an introduction, two body paragraphs and a conclusion, and the paragraphs broadly group related ideas. You also use linking expressions such as “Firstly,” “In other hand,” and “In conclusion.” However, progression within paragraphs is often difficult to follow because several points are joined without clear relationships. For example, the first body paragraph moves from playground thinking skills to sporting interests, life skills and emergencies. Some connectors are inaccurate or repetitive, and references such as “this activity” do not always make clear which activity you mean. Organise each body paragraph around one main idea, then explain and illustrate it; use linking phrases only where they accurately show the relationship between ideas.

Lexical Resource: Band 4.5

You attempt vocabulary relevant to the topic, including “formal learning,” “personal growth,” “daily life skills,” and “personal relationship.” These choices show that you can communicate the main subject and some supporting ideas. However, the range is basic and repetitive, and frequent spelling, word-form and collocation problems sometimes make the meaning difficult to understand. Examples include “give to much concentrate,” “there interest,” “non formal learning,” and “outside of formal worls.” Some phrases appear to be direct translations rather than natural English. Build a bank of accurate topic collocations, such as “academic instruction,” “physical development,” and “social skills,” and check spelling and word forms carefully before submitting.

Grammatical Range and Accuracy: Band 4.5

You attempt both simple and longer sentences, including clauses introduced by “but,” “because”-like reasoning, and “that.” This gives you some variety, but control is limited: many sentences contain errors in agreement, verb forms, articles, plurals and sentence boundaries, and these can make the reader work to understand your meaning. For instance, “The primary school are give” has problems with agreement and verb form, while “Children spend some time on the playground there thinking ability also increased” joins ideas without a correct grammatical link. Practise building accurate basic sentences first, then combine them using subordinate clauses. Pay particular attention to subject–verb agreement, past and present forms, and punctuation between complete ideas.

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