Band 5.5 IELTS Writing Task 2 Model Answer

Overall Band Score: 5.5 · Cambridge IELTS 21 · 2026-10-10

IELTS Writing Task 2 question

Some people argue that primary schools focus too much on formal learning.

To what extent do you agree with this opinion?

How important do you think it is for children to play as well as learn in the primary school classroom?

Give reasons for your answer and include any relevant examples from your own knowledge or experience.

Student answer (Band 5.5)

Opinions are divided on whether primary school's focus on formal learning is beneficial or it is better to teach the children while entertaining them in classroom. Both perspectives have their own validity but this essay will examine both perspectives before arguing about focusing on formal learning is not as good as focusing on learning with enjoyment, entertainment etc.

One of the significant reasons why I support the view of having joy as well as learning in classroom is the child-friendly environment which it brings. Although formal learning is necessary from early age, there is necessity of learning via different methods. Children love to learn while playing because playing different games in classroom can fill their hearts with happiness and joy. This creates easier and friendly environment for them to learn quickly and happily. For example, happier child can overtake the normal child in terms of learning things properly as well as quickly. This way of teaching leads to proper growth and development of children.

Another compelling reason for arguing on behalf of this view is the positivity.

The classroom with extra curricular activities makes student more refreshed and keen to learn new things. Children really love playing with toys. When a child is inside the classroom which focuses on formal learning only, it can develop a sense of burden on that child which would really affect the overall development and learning performance of that child. So, it is far more better to create positive environment for children so that they can nurture them like a seed growing itself into tree. For instance, seed needs a proper soil and temperature to grow properly so does a child too. Children aslo need a proper positive environment to foster themselves. While playing, they can learn rules. Playing not only gives entertainment but also makes them learn rules, bring positivity and a feeling of cooperation.

In conlcusion, although focusing on formal learning would make a child read and write alphabets, it would never make them learn morals, norms and positie attitude. So to make school a better place for learning, it is compulsory needed to play games in classroom.

AI examiner evaluation

Task Achievement / Task Response: Band 5.5

Your position is identifiable: you favour combining learning with enjoyment rather than relying only on formal instruction. You also give relevant reasons, including that play can make children happier, more willing to learn, and able to practise cooperation and rules. However, the response only partly develops the task. The first question asks whether primary schools focus too much on formal learning, but you do not clearly explain how common or excessive this focus is; much of the essay instead argues for enjoyable learning. The second question is addressed more directly, though claims such as a happier child learning faster are asserted rather than supported with a specific example. State your degree of agreement explicitly and develop each reason with a concrete classroom example.

Coherence and Cohesion: Band 5.5

The essay has a recognisable structure, with an introduction, two body paragraphs and a conclusion, and the body paragraphs each present a main reason. Linking expressions such as “Another compelling reason” and “In conclusion” help signal the stages of the response. However, progression within paragraphs is sometimes repetitive: happiness, positivity and a friendly environment are presented as separate points without clearly showing how they differ or connect. Some transitions are also awkward, such as “So does a child too,” and the opening promises to examine both perspectives, but the essay mainly develops one side. Improve cohesion by making the relationship between each claim and its example explicit, and use clearer references so readers can follow the argument without relying on repeated general statements about children.

Lexical Resource: Band 5.5

You use a range of topic-related vocabulary, including “formal learning,” “overall development,” “cooperation” and “nurture,” and you attempt more descriptive language through the seed-and-tree comparison. This gives you enough vocabulary to communicate your main ideas. However, several choices are unnatural or imprecise, which makes parts of the argument less clear: “overtake the normal child” does not express the intended comparison, and “extra curricular activities” is not the most suitable phrase for classroom play. There are also noticeable spelling errors, including “aslo,” “conlcusion” and “positie.” Aim for accurate collocations and a more formal, precise style; for example, describe play as supporting learning or social development rather than relying on broad terms such as “positivity.”

Grammatical Range and Accuracy: Band 5.5

You attempt both simple and complex sentence forms, including a concession beginning “Although formal learning is necessary” and a conditional sentence about a classroom focused only on formal learning. These attempts show some range, and the overall meaning is generally recoverable. However, complex structures are often not controlled accurately. For example, “this essay will examine both perspectives before arguing about focusing” is an awkwardly formed clause, while “it is far more better” uses an incorrect comparative construction. There are also errors in articles, agreement and sentence structure, as in “a child-friendly environment which it brings” and “Playing not only gives entertainment but also makes them learn rules, bring positivity.” Practise building clear clauses and checking agreement, articles and parallel forms before adding more complex structures.

See this exact question answered at other band scores. The same prompt compared across bands.

Browse more IELTS Writing model answers or get your own writing scored by the same AI examiner.