Band 5.0 IELTS Writing Task 2 Model Answer

Overall Band Score: 5.0 · Cambridge IELTS 21 · 2026-10-10

IELTS Writing Task 2 question

Some people argue that primary schools focus too much on formal learning.

To what extent do you agree with this opinion?

How important do you think it is for children to play as well as learn in the primary school classroom?

Give reasons for your answer and include any relevant examples from your own knowledge or experience.

Student answer (Band 5.0)

Some people argued that primary schools are focusing too much on formal learning. I strongly agree with this point of view because in my opinion, formal learning is largely benefical and outweighs its drawbacks. Because formal learning sould be started from primary school level.

One of the primary reasons is that pupils at very young age have strong mind and focus with great learning ability. This is primarily because young students focus more at primary level. They pick quickly at young age. One clear example of this is that students who pick more knowledge at their early age they don't forget it at the rest of their age. Therefore, young minds help them to learn things easily and they follow all these activities in future as well.

Another compelling argument in the favour of this is that the basics of primary schools are very strong. The students choose their first career plan and priority from this age. This is attributed to the fact that if primary schools focus more on formal learning. The students will choose their career plan wisely. For instance, if students want to become a doctor or engineer, primary schools guide them how to act formal in their profession. In addition, this effort of schools leads a great sucessfull generation in the future. Consequently, rely on formal leaning is a fantastic way of student's growth. Primary schools is doing brilliant job and it is very convenient for students and parents as well.

All things considered, although it is very difficult for the primary schools to start formal learning. I believe that its has significant importance on the career of students. This hardwork of schools will pay them back when their students lead a great academic opportunities in the future.

AI examiner evaluation

Task Achievement / Task Response: Band 4.0

Your position is clear: you agree that formal learning should begin in primary school, and you give reasons related to children’s learning ability and future careers. However, the response only partially addresses the task. It does not explain whether primary schools focus too much on formal learning, and it does not answer the second question about how important play is alongside learning. The claim that young children “pick quickly” is relevant but repeated rather than developed with a clear example. The career argument is also weakly supported: the suggestion that primary schools guide children to act formally as doctors or engineers does not show how early formal learning helps them choose a career. Address both questions directly and support each main idea with a relevant explanation or example.

Coherence and Cohesion: Band 5.5

The response has a recognisable structure, with an introduction, two body paragraphs and a conclusion. Linking expressions such as “One of the primary reasons,” “For instance” and “All things considered” help signal the stages of the argument. However, progression within paragraphs is sometimes unclear: the first body paragraph repeats the idea that young pupils learn quickly, while the second moves from strong school basics to career choice and then to parents without clearly connecting these points. Some transitions, including “Because formal learning…” and “This is attributed to the fact that…,” introduce incomplete or awkward links. To improve, give each paragraph one central point, explain it in a logical sequence, and use references that make clear how each sentence relates to the previous one.

Lexical Resource: Band 5.0

You use some topic-related vocabulary, including “formal learning,” “primary schools,” “career plan” and “academic opportunities,” and you attempt more formal phrasing such as “Another compelling argument.” However, the range is limited and several word choices or collocations are inaccurate, which can make the intended meaning difficult to follow. Examples include “strong mind,” “pick quickly,” “rely on formal leaning” and “lead a great academic opportunities.” Spelling errors such as “benefical,” “sould” and “sucessfull” also reduce accuracy. Aim for precise, natural combinations rather than adding formal-sounding phrases: for example, describe children as having a “strong capacity to learn,” and explain that schools “provide a foundation for future learning.” Proofread spelling and word forms carefully.

Grammatical Range and Accuracy: Band 5.0

You attempt a mixture of simple sentences and longer clauses, using structures such as “This is primarily because…” and “if students want to become a doctor or engineer…”. However, the range is limited, and errors occur frequently in sentence construction, agreement and verb forms. “Because formal learning should be started…” is a fragment, while “The students choose their first career plan and priority from this age” has an unclear grammatical relationship between its parts. There are also errors in “its has significant importance” and “Primary schools is doing brilliant job.” These problems sometimes make the argument harder to understand. Practise building complete sentences with a clear subject and verb, and check agreement, articles and pronouns when editing.

See this exact question answered at other band scores. The same prompt compared across bands.

Browse more IELTS Writing model answers or get your own writing scored by the same AI examiner.