Band 6.0 IELTS Writing Task 2 Model Answer

Overall Band Score: 6.0 · Cambridge IELTS 21 · 2026-10-10

IELTS Writing Task 2 question

Some people argue that primary schools focus too much on formal learning.

To what extent do you agree with this opinion?

How important do you think it is for children to play as well as learn in the primary school classroom?

Give reasons for your answer and include any relevant examples from your own knowledge or experience.

Student answer (Band 6.0)

"Schools are meant to teach not cram."Formal learning is a silent pandemic for students around the globe and it is producing degree holders not innovators or genuises.A very common phrase used by parents in South Asia is "If you study you will become a nawab and if u play u will rot" little do these parents know that nawabs are born nawabs , the purpose of learning is character , personality building, making own prespective of the world not to be rich.

During the early 20th century scientists and innovators were treated like celebrities . These people devoted their lives to great purposes, the millineal parents grew up watching these as ideals and now they want their child to be one too.They dont want their child in a field playing football but on the desk studying books and becoming a doctor or engineer. This is resulting in a big society imbalance , people are graduating but not getting a job, today a student is automatically enrolled in a never ending race of grades numbers and position. No one understandes the importance of games ,extra curricular activities in development if child.Sports and games make children healthy , effective and energetic then a sad boring degree holder who didnt participated in anything outside studies.

In practical life, your connections , your engagements play more role in being successful then a degree. Primary schools of south asia and other areas dont tend to understane the importance of games nor do parents prioritize it, they want their child to study by hook or crook.Primary schools emphasize strongly on studying but not on outdoor activities, as a result children today are facing a number of issues, they are being idle, less energetic and not looking bright as they should look.A child is like a wild horse that needs to run in the long midfields filled with grass that is the only way it can be used in the hour of need . Government needs to make strict policies regarding importance of outfoor activities and these must be included with the studies.

Reasearch giant unis like harvard and MIT strongly emphasize on extra curricular and outdoor activities , instead they give admission to students with more diverse extra curricular activities and is a necessity to get enroll there.We should let our child explore, this is the only way to grow by learning things not craming them. An open mind cant be enclosed behind the bars of limited syllabus and course.

In the end, i would say that education is the most improtant thing in life as said by prophet saw but it is not the only thing life a child should have the opportunity to play,explore and grow.

AI examiner evaluation

Task Achievement / Task Response: Band 6.5

Your position is clear: you disagree with excessive formal learning and argue that play and extracurricular activities are important alongside education. You address both the focus on formal learning and the value of play, using examples such as parental attitudes in South Asia and admissions at Harvard and MIT. This gives the response relevant support and meets the task well. To make the argument more fully developed, explain more directly how classroom play supports children’s learning—for example, through teamwork, problem-solving, or concentration. Some claims, such as that connections matter more than a degree, are not clearly linked to primary-school learning, and the conclusion could state your degree of agreement more explicitly. The response has a solid position and relevant ideas, but some points need clearer explanation and support.

Coherence and Cohesion: Band 6.0

The response has a recognisable structure: an introduction, paragraphs developing the effects of academic pressure and the value of activities, and a conclusion. Ideas generally progress from parental expectations to wider consequences and then to a recommendation for schools. However, connections between some points are abrupt. For instance, the discussion of scientists and innovators shifts quickly to unemployment and then to children’s health, without clearly showing how each point supports the central argument. Linking phrases such as “In practical life” and “In the end” help, but transitions are sometimes broad or mechanical, and references such as “these people” and “this” are not always precise. Organise each body paragraph around one main claim, then explain and illustrate it before moving on; this would make the progression clearer and cohesion less dependent on general transitions.

Lexical Resource: Band 5.5

You attempt a varied vocabulary, including “society imbalance,” “never ending race,” “diverse extra curricular activities,” and “enclosed behind the bars of limited syllabus.” These choices show an effort to express abstract ideas and use vivid language. However, inaccurate spelling and word choice are noticeable and sometimes distract the reader: “genuises,” “prespective,” “millineal,” and “understane” are examples. Some phrases are also unnatural or imprecise, such as “a sad boring degree holder” and “effective and energetic” for the effects of sport. Aim for accurate, natural collocations rather than dramatic phrasing, and proofread spelling carefully. More precise terms such as “academic pressure,” “well-rounded development,” and “physical and social skills” would help communicate your ideas clearly and appropriately.

Grammatical Range and Accuracy: Band 5.0

You use both simple statements and attempts at longer, complex sentences, including “During the early 20th century scientists and innovators were treated like celebrities” and the sentence beginning “Primary schools emphasize strongly on studying.” This shows some range, but control is inconsistent, and errors in sentence boundaries, agreement, articles, and verb forms sometimes make the reader work to follow the meaning. For example, “No one understandes” should be “No one understands,” while “a student is automatically enrolled in a never ending race” needs clearer punctuation and phrasing. Several sentences run together, particularly in the opening and the paragraph about school policies. Use full stops to separate complete ideas, check subject–verb agreement and verb forms, and revise long sentences into manageable clauses. These changes would improve accuracy while preserving your complex ideas.

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