Band 5.5 IELTS Writing Task 2 Model Answer

Overall Band Score: 5.5 · Cambridge IELTS 21 · 2026-10-10

IELTS Writing Task 2 question

Some people argue that primary schools focus too much on formal learning.

To what extent do you agree with this opinion?

How important do you think it is for children to play as well as learn in the primary school classroom?

Give reasons for your answer and include any relevant examples from your own knowledge or experience.

Student answer (Band 5.5)

Some individuals aruges that elementary schools are more focus on formal learning. I think they are right because most of the primary schooling are not taking the co-curriculum activities seriouly at all. Due to which a lot of student can not figure out what to do in any challenging situations.

To be honest i am totally agree with this believe that nowa days majority of the primary schools are only worried about the grades and scientific concepts of students. Rather then their practical way of thinking and mental growth which they will develop in the playgrounds doing different kind of activities. Like consider a child how is only focus on his acadmic studies with out participating in any other sort of activities. We can say he or she is not taking part in any of sports or stage shows. From my perspective, that students how do not take any part in other activities will have a lot of probles in their future because they will not have any communication and problem solving skills which other students develop throught different kind of activities

Secondly, i will talk about the mindset of majority of the schooling system. They think that good grades and leaning about new technology and concept of science are everything for a student which is totally wrong from my perspective. Students ought to spend time playing outside with their friends and make some memories. Along with that to try some new hobbies in which they think they are good this way we can find our future stars as well like in footballers, cricketers and other athlets.

The main reason behind my answer is i see a lot of student in my university class how do not know how to communicate to classmates and other professors or batchmates. They also have a every limitied patience about thinks they are doing and it ended up wrong so they just give on that thing. On the other hand if their is someone how spent time in playgrounds with friends struggling to win a match will never give up.

AI examiner evaluation

Task Achievement / Task Response: Band 6.5

Your position is clear: you agree that primary schools give too much attention to formal learning, and you explain why play matters by linking it to communication, problem-solving, patience and perseverance. The examples of sports, stage shows and struggling to win a match are relevant, and you address both the focus on formal study and the importance of play. This meets the task well, with some elements showing stronger development. However, the point about finding “future stars” is less directly connected to children’s broader development, and several claims—such as students who do not play having “a lot of problems”—would benefit from explanation or a specific example. Develop the classroom aspect more explicitly, showing how play can be incorporated alongside lessons.

Coherence and Cohesion: Band 5.5

The response has an identifiable progression: you state your view, explain the effects of academic-only schooling, and then add observations from university. Paragraph breaks help separate these points, and connectors such as “Secondly” and “On the other hand” signal relationships between ideas. However, progression is not consistently clear. The opening paragraph’s “Due to which” fragment is disconnected, and the final paragraph introduces university students without clearly linking this observation back to primary-school play. Some transitions are mechanical, while long stretches of ideas run together, especially in the second paragraph. Use a clearer topic sentence for each paragraph, connect examples directly to the claim they support, and make references such as “that students” and “their” unambiguous.

Lexical Resource: Band 5.0

You use relevant vocabulary for the topic, including “formal learning,” “co-curriculum activities,” “problem solving skills,” “communication,” and “patience.” These choices help convey your main ideas, and terms such as “playground” and “hobbies” suit the discussion. However, the range and control are limited by repeated general words such as “activities,” “students,” and “things,” as well as inaccurate or unnatural expressions. For example, “more focus on formal learning” and “a every limited patience” do not express the intended meaning naturally; spelling errors such as “acadmic,” “probles,” and “athlets” also make the writing less fluent to read. Build a wider set of precise phrases for learning through play and check spelling and collocations during revision.

Grammatical Range and Accuracy: Band 5.0

You attempt both simple and complex sentences, including cause-and-effect structures such as “because they will not have any communication and problem solving skills” and a conditional example beginning “if there is someone…”. This shows an effort to explain relationships rather than relying only on short statements. However, complex sentences are often faulty, and errors in agreement, verb forms, articles and sentence boundaries recur. Examples include “most of the primary schooling are,” “I am totally agree,” and “a child how is only focus”; the opening “Due to which” is also an incomplete sentence. Several sentences join multiple ideas without clear punctuation, making relationships harder to follow. Practise accurate subject–verb agreement and complete clause structures, then divide long sentences where needed.

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