Band 6.0 IELTS Writing Task 2 Model Answer

Overall Band Score: 6.0 · Cambridge IELTS 21 · 2026-10-10

IELTS Writing Task 2 question

Some people argue that primary schools focus too much on formal learning.

To what extent do you agree with this opinion?

How important do you think it is for children to play as well as learn in the primary school classroom?

Give reasons for your answer and include any relevant examples from your own knowledge or experience.

Student answer (Band 6.0)

some people believe that primary schools focus more on formal education rather than activity or interaction based learning. I agree with this opinion.

Focus of primary schools have been shifted to formal education recently. Most of the schools now focus on academic results and don't prioritise activity based learning. Some schools have gone into competition with other schools, so their focus is mostly on academic results. Whereas, some schools lack the facilities to organize such activities. Parents also do not encourage their children to participate in activity based learning, as everyone wants their chlidren to top the academic result.

It is very important for children to play with their studies . Students learn so many things by playing different games. By playing different games they learn different skills like, planning, teamwork, unity and discipline. These games also help them to find their creative skills and sharpen their mind. Children can apply these skills in their formal education as well. These games also help children to be each other's friend and they carry that feeling to classroom too.

In conclusion, too much focus of primary schools on formal education is not healthy for students learning. There should be a balance between formal and informal learning. Schools should also organize different sports for children. so that they can learn other skills too.

AI examiner evaluation

Task Achievement / Task Response: Band 6.0

Your position is clear from the opening: you agree that primary schools give too much attention to formal education. You address both parts of the prompt by explaining why schools prioritise academic results and why play matters, with relevant benefits such as teamwork, planning and creativity. However, the reasons are not developed equally: the points about competition, facilities and parental expectations are listed briefly, and the importance of play would be stronger with a specific example showing how a classroom activity supports learning. The conclusion recommends balance, but could explain more directly how much classroom time should be devoted to play. The response is also 30 words below the required minimum, limiting the space available to develop these ideas.

Coherence and Cohesion: Band 6.0

The response has a clear overall structure: an introduction, a paragraph explaining the emphasis on formal learning, a paragraph on the benefits of play, and a conclusion. This makes the main line of argument easy to follow. Within paragraphs, ideas are generally sequenced sensibly, and linking expressions such as “Whereas,” “also” and “In conclusion” help signal relationships. However, some connections feel mechanical or unclear. “Whereas” does not form a complete contrast with the preceding sentence, and repeated openings such as “These games also help” make the paragraph less fluid. Improve progression by linking each reason explicitly to the central argument and varying how you refer back to games and learning.

Lexical Resource: Band 5.5

You use an adequate range of topic vocabulary, including “formal education,” “academic results,” “activity based learning,” “teamwork,” “discipline” and “creative skills.” These choices make your meaning clear and show awareness of the subject. There are, however, some imprecise or unnatural expressions: “top the academic result” is not idiomatic, and “find their creative skills” does not express the intended idea naturally. “Focus of primary schools have been shifted” is also an awkward phrase, while “activity based” would be clearer as a consistently hyphenated compound. Spelling errors such as “chlidren” reduce accuracy. Aim for more natural collocations and check spelling carefully; this would make your vocabulary more precise without needing unnecessarily complex words.

Grammatical Range and Accuracy: Band 5.5

You use a mix of simple sentences and some longer structures, including the explanation beginning “Parents also do not encourage…” and the sentence about skills children can apply in formal education. Most ideas remain understandable, but some grammatical errors and punctuation problems are noticeable. For example, “Focus of primary schools have been shifted” has a subject–verb agreement problem and needs an article or a different construction; “Students learn so many things by playing different games” is followed by a repetitive sentence that could be combined more effectively. There are also inconsistent sentence boundaries, as in “Schools should also organize different sports for children. so that…”. Practise accurate agreement, articles and sentence joining, while retaining a mix of simple and complex forms.

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