Band 4.5 IELTS Writing Task 2 Model Answer

Overall Band Score: 4.5 · Cambridge IELTS 21 · 2026-10-11

IELTS Writing Task 2 question

Some people argue that primary schools focus too much on formal learning.

To what extent do you agree with this opinion?

How important do you think it is for children to play as well as learn in the primary school classroom?

Give reasons for your answer and include any relevant examples from your own knowledge or experience.

Student answer (Band 4.5)

Some people argue that primary schools focus too much on formal learning. But it is true, most of countries school system do focus on formal learning. Formal learning is the only method by which most of the children learn there acadamic but it decreases there IQ leavel, because it makes children bored. Due to which children lose there interest in there studies, thats why the only reason world does not generating more scienties.

This is the reason i also lose interest in studies by which i was not getting a good marks. The socity give me a lesson that it is important to be graduate to belong a educated person. Formal learning system dosent teach me to set life goles and why it is important. I never set goals of my life i am just going with the flow. It makes me to live a life without target and spend all life.

It is very important for the children to play as well as learn in the primary classroom, because thats the first time. Children go there without there parents and there parents send them to the school to make there childrens to serve some thing big to the socity. They make there first friend in the school. They can learn alot in classroom while playing e.g alot of physics and scinence in playing and more sportsman sprit while playnig and learning. They may discover new thing while playning then reading Newton theories. Modren education system is very importent in this century.

AI examiner evaluation

Task Achievement / Task Response: Band 4.5

You address both questions: you argue that formal learning can reduce children’s interest, and you state that play is important alongside classroom learning. The examples about making friends and discovering ideas through play are relevant, but they are brief and sometimes unclear; the claim that formal learning is why the world does not produce more scientists, for instance, is not explained or supported. Your position is present, though the extent of your agreement could be stated more directly and consistently. The response contains 230 words, so it is 20 words below the 250-word minimum; the 22 words copied from the prompt were not counted. Develop each main reason with a clear explanation or example, and add a concise conclusion.

Coherence and Cohesion: Band 4.5

The response has a basic paragraph structure: the first paragraph introduces concerns about formal learning, the second gives a personal experience, and the third discusses play. This helps the reader identify the main topics. However, progression within paragraphs is often difficult to follow, and links between claims are sometimes unclear. For example, the move from losing interest in studies to the claim that society taught you to value graduation does not explain how the ideas connect. Phrases such as “Due to which” and “This is the reason” are used mechanically, while the final paragraph shifts quickly between parents, friendship, physics, and Newton. Use clearer topic sentences and connect each example explicitly to your argument.

Lexical Resource: Band 4.5

You use some vocabulary relevant to the topic, including “formal learning,” “lose interest,” “set goals,” and “discover new thing.” These phrases communicate the general subject and show attempts to express personal and educational ideas. However, the range is basic and repetitive, and frequent spelling, word-form, and collocation errors make parts of the response difficult to understand. Examples include “acadamic,” “socity,” “scienties,” and “sportsman sprit”; “serve some thing big to the socity” is also an unclear expression. Choose accurate, natural phrases and check spelling carefully. More precise terms such as “academic subjects,” “social skills,” and “hands-on learning” would help you explain how play supports children’s development.

Grammatical Range and Accuracy: Band 4.5

You attempt some longer sentences using reasons and examples, such as “Formal learning is the only method by which most of the children learn…” and “It is very important for the children to play as well as learn…”. However, sentence structures are limited overall, and frequent errors in agreement, articles, pronouns, and verb forms make meaning unclear in places. For example, “most of countries school system do focus” has problems with possessives and agreement, while “the only reason world does not generating” has an incorrect verb construction. There are also run-on or incomplete constructions, including “Due to which children lose…”. Practise building accurate simple sentences first, then combine them with correctly formed clauses and use punctuation to separate complete ideas.

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