Band 4.0 IELTS Writing Task 2 Model Answer

Overall Band Score: 4.0 · Cambridge IELTS 21 · 2026-10-11

IELTS Writing Task 2 question

Some people argue that primary schools focus too much on formal learning.

To what extent do you agree with this opinion?

How important do you think it is for children to play as well as learn in the primary school classroom?

Give reasons for your answer and include any relevant examples from your own knowledge or experience.

Student answer (Band 4.0)

nowdays , many people belive argue that primary focus much of formal learning . in my opinion i think childran to play as well learn pramary school classroom.

The primary school focus on formal learning is benefical.Beacause fast reason larning is most important in our life .learning is help to anyting changes . larning is posible is many think and helping to life line. such as better jop opportunities , devlopment skiils,inprove comnicate skiils.

On tha on hand i think children to play as learn in primary school classroom is most necessary . beacause student is learning to new skiils and healts is good condistion .

in my opinion primary school focus too much on formal leaarning but children to play as well as learm is primary school classroom is moast valuable in we our life.

AI examiner evaluation

Task Achievement / Task Response: Band 4.0

You make a basic attempt to address both questions: you mention formal learning and state that play is important, particularly in “children to play as learn.” However, your position is difficult to identify consistently. You first say formal learning is beneficial and important, then conclude that schools focus too much on it, without explaining how these views fit together. The reasons—such as “better job opportunities” and “health is good condition”—are brief and not developed with explanation or a relevant example. The response also does not meet the required minimum length, so there is not enough discussion to fully answer the task. Develop a clear extent of agreement and support each main point with specific reasoning or an example.

Coherence and Cohesion: Band 4.0

There is an attempt to organise the response into paragraphs, and phrases such as “On the other hand” and “In my opinion” signal a change of point or a conclusion. However, the ideas are not arranged in a clear, coherent progression. The opening does not clearly introduce your position, and the relationship between the paragraph supporting formal learning and the later claim that schools focus too much on it is unclear. Several points are listed without explanation, while the final paragraph repeats earlier ideas rather than bringing them together. Use a simple structure—introduction, one paragraph on formal learning, one on play, and a conclusion—and connect each sentence explicitly to the main point of its paragraph.

Lexical Resource: Band 4.5

You use some relevant vocabulary for the topic, including “formal learning,” “job opportunities,” and “communication skills,” so the reader can recognise the general subject of your response. However, the range is basic and several words are repeated, especially “learning” and “primary school.” Frequent spelling errors and inaccurate word forms, such as “belive,” “benefical,” and “comnicate,” make parts of the response difficult to understand. Some phrases are also unclear, including “learning is help to anything changes” and “life line.” Build a small set of accurate topic expressions and check spelling and collocations. For example, explain how play develops social skills or supports children’s health rather than relying on unclear phrases.

Grammatical Range and Accuracy: Band 4.0

The response relies mainly on short, simple statements, with little evidence of varied sentence structures. Many sentences contain frequent grammatical errors that sometimes distort the intended meaning. For example, “The primary school focus on formal learning is beneficial” has an unclear subject and verb pattern, while “I think children to play as learn” does not form a complete, accurate clause. Articles, verb forms, and sentence boundaries are also often missing or incorrectly used. Practise building complete sentences with a clear subject and verb, such as “Children need opportunities to play as well as to learn.” Then combine related ideas using simple clauses with “because” or “which,” checking that each sentence remains grammatically complete.

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