Band 6.0 IELTS Writing Task 2 Model Answer

Overall Band Score: 6.0 · Cambridge IELTS 21 · 2026-10-11

IELTS Writing Task 2 question

Some people argue that primary schools focus too much on formal learning.

To what extent do you agree with this opinion?

How important do you think it is for children to play as well as learn in the primary school classroom?

Give reasons for your answer and include any relevant examples from your own knowledge or experience.

Student answer (Band 6.0)

Education plays a vital role in development of individuals and society. Some people believe that primary education is significant for every person because they give basic knowledge about different subjects, real world and extra-curriculum activities; however, other believe that primary schools only emphasise only on formal education. Therfore, I vehemently believe that primary schools focus on broad knlowledge with other curriculum activities such as arts, playing different outdoor and indoor games.

One of the most significant reason is that playing games are equally important as formal learning because it help student learn naturally aand develop essential skills. Activities such as puzzles, storytelling, role-playing and outdoor games can improve problem-solving abilities, creativity and communication. Furthermore, playing with classmates teaches children how to cooperate, share resources and resolve conflicts. For instance, a teacher can use building blocks to introduce basic mathematical concepts or organise a role-playing activity to improve children's vocabulary and confidence. Such approaches make lessons more engaging and help students understand difficult concepts through practical experience. Physical activities also promote fitness and reduce stress, enabling children to concentrate better during academic lessons. Therefore, playing into a classroom can make education both enjoyable and effective.

On the flip side, an excessive emphasis on formal education can place unnecessary pressure on young learners. Primary school children are still developing their cognitive abilities, and expecting them to spend long hours memorising information or completing written assignments may make learning stressful and monotonous.

To recapitulate, due to rapidly increase competition, focusing on formal education is essential but I believe education with play are more significant because it helps student to escape from hustle and bustle academic life and gives some time to recharge battery and develop new skills and it is important for future carrer.

AI examiner evaluation

Task Achievement / Task Response: Band 6.5

Your position is clear: you believe play should accompany formal learning, while acknowledging that academic education remains important. You address both questions by explaining how play supports skills and wellbeing, and why excessive formal study can create pressure. The examples of building blocks and role-play make the benefits concrete. This meets the task well, and the practical examples show some of the development expected at a stronger level. However, the opening claim that primary schools already provide broad learning is asserted rather than supported, and the paragraph about pressure is brief: it would benefit from a specific consequence or example. The conclusion also introduces competition without explaining how it affects the balance between learning and play.

Coherence and Cohesion: Band 6.0

The response has a recognisable structure: an introduction, a developed paragraph on play, a contrasting paragraph on formal study, and a conclusion. Ideas generally progress logically, and signposts such as “Furthermore,” “For instance,” and “On the flip side” help show relationships. However, cohesion is sometimes mechanical, and the opening sentence of the first body paragraph (“One of the most significant reason…”) does not clearly connect to the preceding position. The final paragraph brings in “rapidly increase competition” and “hustle and bustle” without a clear link to the earlier reasoning. Strengthen progression by making each topic sentence directly state the paragraph’s role and by using clearer references to connect claims and examples.

Lexical Resource: Band 6.0

You use an adequate range for the topic, including relevant terms such as “problem-solving abilities,” “cooperate,” “resolve conflicts,” “cognitive abilities,” and “monotonous.” These choices help explain both the educational and social value of play. There are also attempts at more expressive language, but some phrases are inaccurate or unnatural, including “playing into a classroom,” “recharge battery,” and “rapidly increase competition.” Spelling and word-form slips such as “Therfore,” “knlowledge,” and “carrer” also reduce precision. Aim for natural collocations and check spelling carefully; for example, describe play as being “incorporated into classroom learning” and say that children can “recharge” or “take a break.”

Grammatical Range and Accuracy: Band 5.5

You attempt a mix of simple and complex structures, including clauses introduced by “because,” “while,” and “although”-type contrasts, and several sentences communicate detailed ideas clearly. Some grammatical errors remain, particularly with agreement and sentence construction. For example, “One of the most significant reason” needs a plural noun, while “playing games are… because it help student” shifts between plural and singular forms. In the conclusion, “education with play are more significant because it helps student” has inconsistent agreement, and “it is important for future carrer” leaves the reference of “it” unclear. Review subject–verb agreement, articles, and pronoun reference, then proofread longer sentences to ensure each clause has a clear subject and verb.

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