Band 5.0 IELTS Writing Task 2 Model Answer

Overall Band Score: 5.0 · Cambridge IELTS 21 · 2026-10-11

IELTS Writing Task 2 question

Some people argue that primary schools focus too much on formal learning.

To what extent do you agree with this opinion?

How important do you think it is for children to play as well as learn in the primary school classroom?

Give reasons for your answer and include any relevant examples from your own knowledge or experience.

Student answer (Band 5.0)

Nowadays,Some individuals believe that primary schoolsfous too much on formal education and do not provide children in enough time to play. I largely agree with this opinion since play is an essential partof children physical, mental, and social development.first of all, formal education is very crucial for children to learn basic things to develop knowledge skills improve such as writing,reading and mathematics. Skill is very necessary to build a better future and However spending several hours studying textbooks and completing exercisescan make young children tired and bored.some people say that.formal education improve to children improve vocabulary, imagination,and reading skill.if student start reading in early age, they usually perform better in school and become more confident learner.Numerous children form studying are exhausted

As a result,they may loss interest in learning.Therefore, school should maintain a balanced between academic lesson and enjoyable activities. Secondly, play is extremely important for children to overall, development.games also reduce stress ,and depression. Furthermore ,play can make difficult subjects easier and understand.For instance, teachers can use the number games to teach mathematics and moral stories to improve the children language skill, in addition, play also decline anxiety and help children to concentrate better in the classroom.students to studying more interesting and less boring.on the other hand,students share ideas,assist each other,and problem solving abilities. In conclusion, teacher should that children do not emphasis to studying while, more opportunities provide to playing. Children should that playing with focus on academic education. I believe that education and playing is significant for children in health develop career.

AI examiner evaluation

Task Achievement / Task Response: Band 6.0

Your response addresses both questions and gives a clear overall position: you largely agree that formal learning can dominate, while play is important for children’s development. Relevant reasons include tiredness and boredom from extended textbook work, and the use of number games to teach mathematics. These examples show an understanding of the topic. However, some points are asserted rather than fully explained. For instance, the claim that play supports “overall development” could be developed with a specific explanation of how social interaction or problem-solving benefits children. The discussion of formal learning also shifts between supporting its value and criticising its dominance without clearly distinguishing the two. A more precise explanation of how schools can balance academic instruction and play would make the response more fully developed.

Coherence and Cohesion: Band 5.0

There is an identifiable overall structure: the response introduces a position, discusses formal learning, then play, and ends with a conclusion. Sequencing words such as “first of all,” “Secondly,” and “In conclusion” help signal these stages. However, progression within paragraphs is difficult to follow because ideas are sometimes joined without clear relationships, and several transitions are inaccurate or incomplete. For example, “some people say that” introduces a point but is followed by an unclear sentence, while “on the other hand” does not establish a clear contrast with the preceding idea. Paragraphing and sentence boundaries are also inconsistent. Organise each paragraph around one main claim, then explain and illustrate it, using linking expressions only where their logical relationship is clear.

Lexical Resource: Band 5.0

You use some relevant topic vocabulary, including “formal education,” “social development,” “reduce stress,” “concentrate,” and “problem solving.” These choices show that you can discuss learning and children’s development. However, the range is limited and several word-choice or collocation errors make meaning unclear, such as “children physical…development,” “decline anxiety,” and “a balanced between academic lesson.” Some words and ideas are also repeated, particularly “play,” “children,” and “learning.” Aim to learn common academic collocations and check that each word fits its grammatical form and context. More precise terms for classroom activities and developmental benefits would help you express your ideas clearly and flexibly.

Grammatical Range and Accuracy: Band 4.5

You attempt both simple and more complex sentence forms, including a reason clause with “since” and examples introduced by “For instance.” However, control is inconsistent, and errors in sentence construction, agreement, articles, and punctuation often make the reader work to understand the message. Examples include “primary schoolsfous,” “formal education improve,” “school should maintain a balanced,” and the concluding sentence, “I believe that education and playing is significant.” Several sentences are run together or left as fragments, as in “Numerous children form studying are exhausted.” Practise writing complete sentences with a clear subject and verb, and check agreement and articles. Careful punctuation and proofreading would make your meaning more reliable.

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