Band 4.5 IELTS Writing Task 2 Model Answer

Overall Band Score: 4.5 · Cambridge IELTS 21 · 2026-10-11

IELTS Writing Task 2 question

Some people argue that primary schools focus too much on formal learning.

To what extent do you agree with this opinion?

How important do you think it is for children to play as well as learn in the primary school classroom?

Give reasons for your answer and include any relevant examples from your own knowledge or experience.

Student answer (Band 4.5)

Nowadays, many primary schools are focusing n different types of formal learning such as English, mathematics, and computer however they thought that these are most important subjects for improve knowledge. I will agree this statement because my all arguments support this concept of perspective.

In the beginning, the formal learning is playing a role different types of primary schools.

In recent time, a wide variety of schools pay attention to school subjects computer science, biology and physics. The number of student is just focus on surrounding information such as, environment, chemical and forest.

In many countries, they concern all learning skill, those skill will increase their knowledge and help to create new innovation technologies.

On the one hand, many parents complains about their children because they don't focus on children basic things like that, behaviour, treatment and responsibilities.These things are really importance of all people however these types of categories will support in our life.

In my point of view, a lot of primary school could not focus on formal learning because we will definitely face many challenges in the future.

On the other hand, we should learn foreign countries information to our student for instance, culture, historical events and anicent civilisations.

Finally, we should learn physical games, which will support both physically and mentally although will improve our Stamina and muscle.

To sum up, I agree with this statement, the number of student got to know about formal learning skill at a primary school in their life.

AI examiner evaluation

Task Achievement / Task Response: Band 4.0

You state a position—“I will agree this statement”—and mention formal subjects, children’s behaviour, and physical games, so the response has some connection to the topic. However, the task is addressed only minimally: it asks whether schools focus too much on formal learning and how important play is alongside learning, but your position becomes unclear when you later say schools “could not focus on formal learning.” Several points, such as learning about foreign cultures and science subjects, do not explain whether formal learning is excessive or how play should be balanced with it. The examples are also not developed into reasons. The response is two words below the required minimum. Develop a consistent view and explain specific benefits of both classroom learning and play.

Coherence and Cohesion: Band 4.0

The response is divided into paragraphs and uses basic signposts such as “On the one hand,” “On the other hand,” and “To sum up.” These give the reader some indication of how the essay is intended to progress. However, ideas are not arranged coherently: the opening claims agreement, a later paragraph says schools should not focus on formal learning, and the conclusion returns to agreement without resolving this contradiction. Some paragraphs introduce lists—such as “environment, chemical and forest”—without showing how they support the argument. The contrast markers also do not consistently signal a clear relationship between points. Plan a simple sequence around your position, use each paragraph for one reason, and connect examples explicitly to the question.

Lexical Resource: Band 5.0

You use a basic range of topic-related vocabulary, including “formal learning,” “primary schools,” “responsibilities,” “physically and mentally,” and “historical events.” This gives you some means of discussing education and children’s development. However, the range is limited and several word choices or combinations are inaccurate or unclear, sometimes making the intended meaning difficult to follow. For example, “create new innovation technologies” is awkward, while “the number of student is just focus on surrounding information” does not express a clear idea. There are also spelling errors such as “ancient” written as “anicent,” and “importance” where the intended form is likely “important.” Build a more precise vocabulary for learning, play, and child development, and check collocations and spelling.

Grammatical Range and Accuracy: Band 4.5

You attempt both simple sentences and longer structures, including a clause beginning “because” and a sentence using “although.” However, the range is limited, and errors are frequent enough to make several sentences difficult to understand. Examples include “I will agree this statement,” “the number of student is just focus,” and “although will improve our Stamina,” where verb patterns, agreement, or sentence structure are faulty. Articles and plurals are also inconsistent, as in “a wide variety of schools” followed by “the number of student.” Punctuation and spacing need attention, particularly around sentence boundaries and commas. Practise building accurate subject–verb–object sentences first, then add subordinate clauses while checking that each clause has a complete verb and clear subject.

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