Band 6.0 IELTS Writing Task 2 Model Answer

Overall Band Score: 6.0 · Cambridge IELTS 21 · 2026-10-11

IELTS Writing Task 2 question

Some people argue that primary schools focus too much on formal learning.

To what extent do you agree with this opinion?

How important do you think it is for children to play as well as learn in the primary school classroom?

Give reasons for your answer and include any relevant examples from your own knowledge or experience.

Student answer (Band 6.0)

Primary education is an important part of students' schooling as it develops the base thats helps them in higher grades. The arguement, educational institutions focusing more on formal education, has raised concerns where some poeple believe that junior schooling must focus on theoretical teaching but others suggest that schools must also have physical activites other than just learning.

I am not fully motivated with the idea that primary education should just focus on formal education because it is not just about learning but also about student health and well-being. Additionally, students must have sessions of outdoor activies that keep them motivated to study.

In my experience, students who do not engage in outdoor activities take more stress about their studies because their initial focus is getting good grades in their exams. Schools must have outdoor classes where students are provided options to choose their sport of interest. Physical activities are a good source of mind relaxation and reducing stress. Students study almost 6 hours in schools which can effect their brain capability to absorb more information but a break of physical activity might help them to start fresh when their back from the sports session.

Education is not only learning from the books but also learning by watching or performing a practical of what they study. Therefore schools must also focus on practical education rather than just theorectical learning. As its noticed that literature topics have the least well performing children while children in practical courses perform well.

The arguement still remains valid but the schools must adopt an approach where they focus on both formal learning as well as playing activities. They can allocate periods for recreational activities and keep practical sessions for courses that contain theory so that students can gain interest in those subjects aswell.

AI examiner evaluation

Task Achievement / Task Response: Band 6.5

Your position is clear: you reject an exclusive focus on formal learning and support balancing lessons with play and practical activities. You address both questions, explaining that outdoor activity can reduce stress and that practical learning may help children engage with subjects. These relevant points meet the task well. The response also includes a personal-experience perspective, but the supporting examples remain broad: the claim that children in practical courses perform better is not illustrated or explained, and the importance of play in the classroom could be distinguished more clearly from outdoor sport. To strengthen the response further, develop these points with a specific classroom example and explain how play supports learning as well as well-being.

Coherence and Cohesion: Band 6.0

The response has a coherent overall arrangement: it introduces the issue, gives reasons for including physical activity and practical learning, and ends by recommending a balance. Paragraphs generally have clear purposes, and links such as “Additionally,” “Therefore,” and “The argument still remains valid” help signal relationships. However, progression within some paragraphs is less controlled. The discussion moves from stress to exam grades and then to the length of the school day without fully connecting each point, while “As it’s noticed” introduces an unclear comparison. Repeated use of “students,” “schools,” and “formal education” also makes cohesion somewhat mechanical. Use clearer referencing and make each paragraph develop one main reason through explanation and an example.

Lexical Resource: Band 5.5

You use a relevant range of topic vocabulary, including “formal education,” “outdoor activities,” “well-being,” “practical education,” and “recreational activities.” These choices make your main ideas understandable, and you attempt some less common expressions. However, several word-choice and collocation problems reduce precision, such as “not fully motivated with the idea,” “take more stress,” and “mind relaxation.” There are also noticeable spelling errors, including “arguement,” “activies,” and “theorectical,” alongside repetition of general terms such as “students” and “learning.” Aim for more natural academic phrasing and check spelling carefully. More precise vocabulary for the benefits of play and hands-on learning would help you express your ideas with greater flexibility.

Grammatical Range and Accuracy: Band 5.5

You use a mix of simple and complex sentence forms, including clauses introduced by “because,” “where,” and “so that.” Most of the argument remains understandable, and you attempt to explain cause and effect. Some grammatical errors nevertheless recur. For example, “the base thats helps them” has an incorrect relative structure, “students study almost 6 hours” needs an article or plural form for the time expression, and “when their back from the sports session” is missing a verb. The sentence beginning “The argument, educational institutions focusing…” is also awkwardly constructed, making the relationship between ideas unclear. Review sentence boundaries, verb forms, and agreement, and edit longer sentences for completeness. Greater accuracy in these areas would make your reasoning easier to follow.

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