Band 5.5 IELTS Writing Task 2 Model Answer

Overall Band Score: 5.5 · Cambridge IELTS 21 · 2026-10-11

IELTS Writing Task 2 question

Some people argue that primary schools focus too much on formal learning.

To what extent do you agree with this opinion?

How important do you think it is for children to play as well as learn in the primary school classroom?

Give reasons for your answer and include any relevant examples from your own knowledge or experience.

Student answer (Band 5.5)

In my opinion, primary schools should not be emphasised on formal and classroom learning in today's ever-advancement technology era.

In this fast paced technology world, there will be no meaning to conduct conventional teaching methods in primary schools. Majority of human mind develops during this stage of life. Playing allows to grow their brains, they will get to know about sports-man spirit while playing with their classmates which cannot be engraved in formal teaching.

Moreover, while playing they will interact will each other, results to form bonding and improve the communication skill in their advancement of grown up kid. Also, it takes care of physical helath of pupils as they are engaged in lot of dynamic activities which is most cruical thing in recent times. Parents give their gadgets to theri kids so that they can finishe their work but it adversly affect on children's mind, they become reluctant to go out and barely any physical movement can be seen. For an instance, now we are seeing many kids are suffering from severe deseased and power glasses due to the mobile addiction.

However, conventional classroom learning cannot be taken for granted. By virtue of this conventional method, they learn to write and read. But, considering the evolution of technology in every aspects this should be changed gradually. Instituition should have come up with innovative idea to maintain balance between formal teaching and extra curricular activities.

In a nutshell, i strongly believe that schools should introduce new methodolgy to maintain juggle between both these method as both are compliments each other to complete developments of pupils. Nevertheless, institutions should give importance to classroom learning only.

AI examiner evaluation

Task Achievement / Task Response: Band 5.5

You take a clear general position that primary pupils need play alongside formal learning, and you give relevant reasons: play can support brain development, social interaction and physical health. The contrast with children’s use of gadgets also provides a concrete example. However, the response only partly answers the task because the extent of your agreement is not consistently clear: the conclusion says schools should give importance to classroom learning “only,” which conflicts with your argument for balancing both. The importance of play is discussed more fully than how it should be incorporated into classroom learning, and several claims are asserted rather than explained. Develop each main point with a clearer explanation or example, and make your final position consistent throughout.

Coherence and Cohesion: Band 5.5

The response has a recognisable structure, with an opening position, supporting paragraphs, a contrast introduced by “However,” and a concluding paragraph. This gives the reader some organisation, and the ideas about social and physical benefits are grouped together. However, progression is not always clear: the opening refers to technology, while the main argument shifts among brain development, sportsmanship, communication and health without clearly linking these points. Some connections are awkward or inaccurate, such as “while playing they will interact will each other, results to form bonding.” The conclusion also contradicts the preceding discussion, weakening the overall flow. Use topic sentences to signal each paragraph’s main point, connect examples explicitly to claims, and ensure the conclusion accurately summarises your position.

Lexical Resource: Band 5.0

You attempt vocabulary relevant to the topic, including “conventional teaching methods,” “physical health,” “communication skill” and “maintain balance.” These choices show an effort to discuss education and child development beyond very basic terms. However, the range is limited by repeated general wording and frequent inaccurate word choice, collocation and spelling. Phrases such as “ever-advancement technology era,” “sports-man spirit,” “power glasses” and “juggle between both these method” are unclear or unnatural, and errors such as “helath,” “cruical” and “adversly” reduce precision. Choose familiar expressions that fit the meaning rather than forcing complex phrases. For example, use “rapid technological change,” “team spirit,” “wearing glasses” and “balance the two approaches.”

Grammatical Range and Accuracy: Band 5.0

You attempt both simple and longer sentence forms, including a contrastive sentence beginning “However” and a conditional structure about parents giving children gadgets. Nevertheless, the range is limited, and errors occur frequently in sentence construction, agreement, articles and verb forms. For example, “primary schools should not be emphasised on” has an incorrect passive construction, while “Playing allows to grow their brains” lacks a clear subject and object pattern. “Majority of human mind develops” also has problems with article use and agreement. Some sentences join ideas without a complete grammatical link, as in “while playing they will interact …, results to form bonding.” Practise building accurate subject–verb–object sentences first, then add subordinate clauses and check agreement and sentence boundaries.

See this exact question answered at other band scores. The same prompt compared across bands.

Browse more IELTS Writing model answers or get your own writing scored by the same AI examiner.