Band 5.5 IELTS Writing Task 2 Model Answer

Overall Band Score: 5.5 · Cambridge IELTS 21 · 2026-10-11

IELTS Writing Task 2 question

Some people argue that primary schools focus too much on formal learning.

To what extent do you agree with this opinion?

How important do you think it is for children to play as well as learn in the primary school classroom?

Give reasons for your answer and include any relevant examples from your own knowledge or experience.

Student answer (Band 5.5)

Many individual believes that primary schools concentrates more on formal education.

Firstly, i do not completely agree with this statement because children should get the chance to live their life in their childhood. It is like a crime to put extreme pressure on a primary school kid. Children should get the chance to play around rather than only focusing on learning. School authoraties should give the proper opportunity for children's mental health to grow. Moreover, when children will live in an enviroment where they are getting too much pressure it can be monotonous and it will affect their mental health .From my perspective , arranging a playground in every primary schools should be a mandatory task for school authoreties. Education is on of the most essential human right for every living being on the earth but that does not mean it the only things to do. Focusing on only education can be boring to childrens. In this world every children's nature is playful so keeping bear that in mind goverments should implement rules where play will be essential besides education.

Furthermore, children's nature will be childish that's the most usual thing. If children's are getting the opportunity of play it will be beneficial for their mental and psysical health both. For instance, when i was in my primary school my instituition did not had any playgrounds for children . They were more focusing on learning . As a cosequence of that indicent i have lost my golden time to play because they used gave dozens of homework which was felt like burden to me. One of the core reason to not agree with statement that, i cannot go back to my primary days but i do carry those guilts till now so for them education should be playful rather a burden. Schools should keep in mind that a child can focus on their studies rest of the life but their golden time will never come back

Lastly, an education is really important as well as play is also a necessecity for children . A fresh mind will help them to grew in a positive way as much as possible.

AI examiner evaluation

Task Achievement / Task Response: Band 5.5

Your position is generally clear: you do not fully agree that primary schools focus too much on formal learning, and you argue that play should accompany education. You address both the pressure of excessive study and the value of play, using your own primary-school experience as a relevant example. However, the response only partly develops the question of how important classroom play is: much of the discussion concerns playgrounds and lost free time rather than explaining how play can support learning in the classroom. Some claims, such as that pressure harms children’s mental health, would be stronger with explanation or a specific example. Develop the educational benefits of play and clarify your position more consistently.

Coherence and Cohesion: Band 5.5

The response has a recognisable structure, with an opening position, supporting paragraphs, and a concluding statement. Sequencing words such as “Firstly,” “Moreover,” “Furthermore,” and “Lastly” help signal the stages of your argument. However, progression within paragraphs is sometimes unclear: the discussion moves from pressure and mental health to playgrounds, education as a right, and government rules without showing how each point connects. The personal example is relevant, but the sentence beginning “One of the core reason…” is difficult to follow and does not clearly introduce a distinct reason. Use topic sentences to establish each paragraph’s main idea, then connect examples directly to it; clearer referencing and fewer mechanical transitions would improve flow.

Lexical Resource: Band 5.0

You use vocabulary relevant to the topic, including “formal education,” “mental health,” “playful,” and “burden,” and you attempt to express ideas such as pressure and children’s wellbeing. However, the range is limited and several word-choice, collocation, and spelling errors make the writing less precise. Examples include “live their life in their childhood,” “play around,” “golden time,” and “carry those guilts”; these expressions are awkward or do not convey the intended meaning naturally. Spelling errors such as “authoraties,” “enviroment,” and “psysical” are also noticeable. Build a more accurate set of phrases for discussing learning and development, and check spelling and word forms carefully.

Grammatical Range and Accuracy: Band 5.0

You attempt both simple and longer sentences, including clauses with “because,” “when,” and “that,” but complex structures are often faulty and errors occur frequently. For example, “Many individual believes” has a subject–verb agreement error, while “when children will live” uses an unsuitable verb form in a conditional time clause. Other examples include “my instituition did not had” and “a child can focus … but their golden time,” which show problems with verb forms and agreement. Articles, plurals, and punctuation are also inconsistent, as in “in every primary schools” and the spacing around full stops and commas. Practise accurate basic sentence patterns first, then build longer sentences and proofread each one for agreement, tense, and punctuation.

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