Band 6.0 IELTS Writing Task 2 Model Answer

Overall Band Score: 6.0 · Cambridge IELTS 21 · 2026-10-11

IELTS Writing Task 2 question

Some people argue that primary schools focus too much on formal learning.

To what extent do you agree with this opinion?

How important do you think it is for children to play as well as learn in the primary school classroom?

Give reasons for your answer and include any relevant examples from your own knowledge or experience.

Student answer (Band 6.0)

Some people argue that primary schools only focus on formal learning. In today's world. it is important to know and understand beyond the books and classrooms.

Despite the importance of formal learning, I believe it is necessary that children should be encouraged to play more. It helps teach the children important life lessons that cannot be taught through books.

For example, when I joined a football and athletics academy, I had to show up and practice every day. Even after that, there were days when I did not perform well. But that didn't stop me. I worked harder to overcome my mistakes and learn something new from it. Playing on the ground taught me a great deal. Similarly, children too, need to experience all of this. No amount of books will teach them to deal with their emotions and their success and failures. This will build them and prepare them for the real world.

At the same time, it teaches us some important skills like team work and leadership. This pushes us out of our comfort zone and boundaries and helps us build connections. It allows us to open ourselves and make room for other people. We learn from eachother and guide eachother through the highs and lows.

For example, when I became the captain of a volleyball team, I met a lot of new people and made new friends. This helped me build connections and they later helped me with my thesis and data collection. At the same time I learned leadership qualities. I gained perspective of how things can be managed calmly and respectfully without having to shout at someone or down grade someone.

Playing and being on the ground humbles us and we learn something more than just what's in the books and makes us better people.

AI examiner evaluation

Task Achievement / Task Response: Band 6.5

Your position is clear: although formal learning matters, you believe play should have a substantial place in primary education. You address both the value of play and the balance with academic learning, using relevant personal examples from football, athletics and volleyball. The examples help explain resilience, teamwork and leadership, and the final point about becoming “better people” reinforces your view. This meets the task well, with some of the development and support expected at a stronger level. However, the discussion focuses mainly on what you learned as an older student or athlete, rather than showing specifically how classroom play benefits primary-school children. The claim that books cannot teach children to manage emotions is also broad. Add a concrete classroom example and explain how play complements formal learning.

Coherence and Cohesion: Band 6.0

The response has a coherent overall arrangement: you state your view, develop the personal benefits of play, then discuss social skills and conclude with a summary. Examples generally follow the points they illustrate, so the reader can follow your argument. However, progression within paragraphs is sometimes loose. In the paragraph beginning “At the same time,” the ideas move from teamwork to comfort zones, connections and learning from others without clearly showing how each point relates to the next. Linking phrases such as “At the same time” are repeated, and “Similarly” introduces a comparison that is not fully explained. Some references, including “This” in “This pushes us out,” are not entirely precise. Use clearer topic sentences and more explicit links between each claim and its example.

Lexical Resource: Band 6.0

You use an adequate range of vocabulary to discuss learning, personal development and social skills. Phrases such as “overcome my mistakes,” “leadership qualities” and “build connections” communicate relevant ideas, while “highs and lows” adds some variety. There are also attempts at more specific expression, but some choices are inaccurate or informal for an academic essay. “Down grade someone” is not the intended expression; “belittle someone” would be more precise. “Eachother” should be written as “each other,” and “team work” is normally one word, “teamwork.” The repeated use of “important,” “learn” and “build” also limits flexibility. Aim for precise collocations and vary repeated vocabulary, while keeping the personal examples clearly connected to the question.

Grammatical Range and Accuracy: Band 6.0

You use a mix of simple and complex sentence forms, including subordinate clauses such as “when I joined a football and athletics academy” and “when I became the captain of a volleyball team.” Most sentences are understandable, and errors rarely prevent the reader from following your meaning. Some punctuation and sentence-boundary errors remain: “In today's world. it is important” should use a comma after “world,” and the opening fragment-like transition would be clearer if joined to the following idea. In “learn something new from it,” the pronoun does not agree clearly with the plural “mistakes”; use “them” or recast the sentence. The final sentence also combines several ideas with “and” in a way that makes its structure difficult to follow. Review punctuation and pronoun reference, and vary sentence patterns more deliberately.

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