Band 5.5 IELTS Writing Task 2 Model Answer

Overall Band Score: 5.5 · Cambridge IELTS 21 · 2026-10-11

IELTS Writing Task 2 question

Some people argue that primary schools focus too much on formal learning.

To what extent do you agree with this opinion?

How important do you think it is for children to play as well as learn in the primary school classroom?

Give reasons for your answer and include any relevant examples from your own knowledge or experience.

Student answer (Band 5.5)

Education is very important play role for the development of child. In this regard it is considered by some individual that primary school highly focus on formal learning. i agree with this opinion because i believe formmal leraning provide good acdemic result and guide how to focus on leraning.

Firstly, formal learning provide good acdemic result. in other words when primary schools focus too much on formal learning. in this way childrens have opportunity to enhance our acdemic knowledge. and focus on their books. at the end of year exam days chidren can better perform and acheive a good result. for example my younger cousion recently jion primary school and highly focus on acdemic learning he acheive good result and celebrate their result cermony .

In addition, formal learning provide guaidence how to focus on learning and hardwork. because when children too much focus on formal learning in this way he can learn how to improve their hardwork and acheive success in acdemic results in future. formal learning is very helpful for children enhance the knowledege and learn basic mannners of spend their life in a good way.

It is very significant for children to play as well as learn in the priamary school classrooms because children spent a large amount of time in schools and feel very tired due to long hours reading and learning. play provide opportunity to relax their minds and play with other friends. in this way play as well as learn enhance children creativity and learn many rules how to sacrifice and their bounding strong with others. for instance it has been proved in recent research conducted in U.k by cambridge that 40% children can better perform in every field of life who start palying in early age with formal learning and acheive success rather than who don't play as well as learn.

AI examiner evaluation

Task Achievement / Task Response: Band 6.0

You address both parts of the question: you agree that primary schools focus heavily on formal learning, and you explain why play should also be included. Your position is clear from the introduction and the final paragraph. Relevant support includes the example of your younger cousin and the point that play can help children relax and develop creativity and social skills. However, the reasons for prioritising formal learning are repeated rather than fully explored, and the cousin’s example mainly reports a good result without showing how formal learning caused it. The research claim is also broad and not explained. To strengthen the response, develop fewer points with clearer reasoning and show more directly how classroom play complements academic learning.

Coherence and Cohesion: Band 5.5

The response has a recognisable overall structure: an introduction, two paragraphs supporting formal learning, and a final paragraph about play. Linking phrases such as “Firstly,” “In addition,” and “for instance” help signal the direction of ideas. However, progression within paragraphs is often difficult to follow because several sentences repeat the same point or are joined in unclear ways, as in “in other words when primary schools focus too much on formal learning. in this way…” References such as “he” and “their” also make it unclear who is being discussed. Use complete, logically connected sentences, and organise each paragraph around one main idea with an explanation and example. This would make the existing structure more coherent and less mechanical.

Lexical Resource: Band 4.5

You use a basic range of topic-related vocabulary, including “academic knowledge,” “creativity,” “relax,” and “success,” so the main ideas are generally understandable. There are also attempts at more specific expressions, such as “formal learning” and “primary school classrooms.” However, vocabulary is repetitive, particularly “formal learning,” “focus,” and “result,” and several inaccurate word choices or spellings make the writing less clear. Examples include “provide guidance how to focus,” “their bounding strong,” and misspellings such as “acdemic” and “acheive.” Build a more accurate range of collocations and check spelling carefully. More precise wording would help distinguish academic progress from the social and creative benefits of play.

Grammatical Range and Accuracy: Band 5.0

You attempt both simple statements and longer sentences with reasons, for example, “It is very significant for children to play as well as learn… because children spent a large amount of time in schools.” This shows some variety, and the overall meaning can usually be followed. However, there are some recurring errors in verb forms, agreement, articles, and sentence boundaries. For instance, “formal learning provide” needs subject–verb agreement, while “children spent” does not fit the general present-tense meaning. Several fragments begin with “in other words” or “because,” and full stops are often used where the ideas need to be joined or completed. Practise accurate present-tense sentences and use a wider range of controlled complex structures.

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