Band 5.5 IELTS Writing Task 2 Model Answer

Overall Band Score: 5.5 · Cambridge IELTS 21 · 2026-10-11

IELTS Writing Task 2 question

Some people argue that primary schools focus too much on formal learning.

To what extent do you agree with this opinion?

How important do you think it is for children to play as well as learn in the primary school classroom?

Give reasons for your answer and include any relevant examples from your own knowledge or experience.

Student answer (Band 5.5)

It is often argue that primary schools excessively focus on formal learning. Only Primary learning is not enough for growth of children, with that playing activities also important for their development. For the mental and physical health both primary learning and playing activities is benefical.

One major reason why primary learning becomes problematic for children. Primary learning have a huge impact on children well being. It effective on their mind such as lack of concentration, focus and thinking, Just make them stuck on the studies and carming. For example, Y is a boy who is in 5th class and Y go to school then from school tution classes and in school as well focus on learning only. In results to seen His Physical and mental health is only not good. It increases a level of stress and depression in children.

In my point of view, with primary learning there must be a physical activities so children can learn with fun without boredom and make learning better. Primary learning must be done with games or curriculum activities so they can take an interest and participate more and more in studies and games. It helps them in academic. It helps their mind to do focus and concentration.Reduce mental health problems among children and do better in their daily life.

In conclusion, I largely agree that primary schools can place too much emphasis on formal learning. A balanced approach that combines academic instruction with purposeful play is more likely to support children's intellectual, social and emotional development.

AI examiner evaluation

Task Achievement / Task Response: Band 6.5

Your position is clear: you largely agree that formal learning can be overemphasised, and you address both the effects of academic pressure and the value of play. The conclusion also directly answers the question by recommending a balance. This meets the task well, but the two parts are not equally developed. The paragraph about pressure gives a relevant example of a pupil moving from school to tuition, yet the example is difficult to follow and does not clearly show how play would improve the situation. Your explanation of play’s benefits is also mostly asserted rather than illustrated. To strengthen the response, explain one or two specific ways classroom play supports learning or wellbeing, and connect these points more explicitly to your example and position.

Coherence and Cohesion: Band 6.0

The response has a recognisable overall structure: an introduction, two body paragraphs presenting concerns and a solution, and a conclusion. The final paragraph effectively brings the argument together. However, progression within the body paragraphs is sometimes unclear. For instance, the first body paragraph moves from children’s wellbeing to concentration, then to the example of “Y,” without clearly linking each point. Repeated openings such as “Primary learning” and “It helps” also make the development feel mechanical, while “In results to seen” obscures the connection between the example and its outcome. Use clearer topic sentences and link each example to the claim it supports. More precise referencing and a wider range of natural transitions would make the argument easier to follow.

Lexical Resource: Band 5.0

You use some relevant vocabulary for the topic, including “formal learning,” “physical activities,” “concentration,” “stress,” and “emotional development.” These choices help communicate the main argument. However, the range is limited and several inaccurate or unnatural expressions make parts of the response difficult to understand. Examples include “primary learning,” “carming,” “In results to seen,” and “do focus and concentration.” Some words are repeated frequently, particularly “learning,” “children,” and “helps.” Aim to use more precise topic vocabulary and check collocations and word forms. For example, describe “academic instruction” alongside “structured play,” and say that activities “improve concentration” rather than that children “do focus.”

Grammatical Range and Accuracy: Band 5.0

You attempt both simple and more extended sentence forms, and the conclusion is a clear, well-formed sentence. However, control is inconsistent: errors in sentence construction, agreement, articles, and punctuation occur often enough to make some ideas hard to follow. For example, “One major reason why primary learning becomes problematic for children” is a fragment, while “Primary learning have a huge impact” has subject–verb disagreement. In “For the mental and physical health both primary learning and playing activities is beneficial,” the sentence structure and agreement are faulty. Some sentences also run together, as in the passage about concentration and thinking. Practise building complete sentences with a clear subject and verb, and check agreement and punctuation when combining clauses.

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