Band 6.0 IELTS Writing Task 2 Model Answer

Overall Band Score: 6.0 · Cambridge IELTS 21 · 2026-10-11

IELTS Writing Task 2 question

Some people argue that primary schools focus too much on formal learning.

To what extent do you agree with this opinion?

How important do you think it is for children to play as well as learn in the primary school classroom?

Give reasons for your answer and include any relevant examples from your own knowledge or experience.

Student answer (Band 6.0)

Few individuals argue that primary institutions focus too much on formal learning. I partially agree with this statement, and I believe play is as important as learning in the primary school classroom. I will discuss my opinion and reasons in the following paragraphs.

To begin with, many primary schools focus mainly on academic subjects, theory, practical work, and examinations, which is beneficial for students in building knowledge. Formal learning is important, as it develops discipline, interpersonal skills, and more knowledge regarding particular subjects. For example, students who learn in primary school through formal learning can build a systematic way of learning, which is beneficial for building good knowledge.

Furthermore, play is as important as formal learning. Learners who spend all their time doing homework and theory can experience stress. To relieve stress, play is most important. Moreover, by playing games, children can build a good physique.

In my opinion, it is important and beneficial for children to play as well as learn in primary school because play can reduce stress. Playing outdoor games with other learners can be beneficial to improve physical health as well as mental health. Also, play improves children's communication skills, as they will communicate with other students during playing. By playing various games, learners can learn how to do group work. It also builds self-confidence, which is beneficial for learning theory.

To conclude, a few individuals argue that primary schools focus too much on formal learning. I partially agree with this statement, as play is also important for students. Through formal learning, learners can develop interpersonal skills and discipline. Playing games can be beneficial to build self-confidence and group work.

AI examiner evaluation

Task Achievement / Task Response: Band 6.0

Your response addresses both questions and maintains a clear, consistent position: you partially agree that formal learning receives too much emphasis and state that play is equally important. Relevant reasons include stress reduction, physical and mental health, communication, teamwork, and confidence. However, the discussion of formal learning mostly lists benefits—such as discipline and knowledge—rather than explaining when or why schools may overemphasise it. Some points about play, especially its effect on confidence and learning, are also asserted rather than illustrated or developed with a specific example. To strengthen the response, explain the balance you think schools should strike and extend one or two reasons with a concrete classroom example. The response meets the task’s length requirement; 19 words copied from the prompt were not counted.

Coherence and Cohesion: Band 6.0

The essay has a clear overall arrangement: an introduction states your position, body paragraphs discuss formal learning and play, and a conclusion restates the main ideas. Paragraphing helps the reader follow the discussion, and signposts such as “To begin with,” “Furthermore,” and “To conclude” make the sequence clear. However, the progression is somewhat mechanical, with several points introduced in succession but not linked through explanation. The separate paragraph beginning “In my opinion” repeats the importance of play already stated in the preceding paragraph, while the conclusion repeats much of the introduction. Develop a clearer progression by grouping related benefits and showing how each supports your argument, and use referencing or transitions that connect ideas rather than relying mainly on formulaic markers.

Lexical Resource: Band 5.5

You use an adequate range of vocabulary to discuss schooling and children, including “formal learning,” “interpersonal skills,” “systematic,” and “self-confidence.” The meaning is generally clear, and the topic-specific language is appropriate. However, several words and phrases are repeated, particularly “beneficial,” “build,” “play,” and “learning,” which limits flexibility. Some combinations are also unnatural or imprecise: “build a good physique,” “build good knowledge,” and “during playing” do not sound idiomatic in this context. Aim for more precise collocations and vary repeated verbs—for example, say that play “supports physical development” or that students “acquire knowledge.” This would make the vocabulary more natural and help express the relationships between ideas more precisely.

Grammatical Range and Accuracy: Band 5.5

You use a mix of simple sentences and longer structures, including a relative clause in “students who learn in primary school…” and a subordinate clause beginning “as they will communicate…”. Most sentences are understandable, and errors do not prevent the reader from following your argument. Some grammatical patterns are less controlled, however. In “Playing outdoor games with other learners can be beneficial to improve physical health,” the infinitive construction is awkward; use “can help improve” or “can be beneficial for improving.” “During playing” also needs a different grammatical form, such as “while playing.” The essay relies heavily on similar sentence openings and straightforward structures. To improve, vary clause patterns and check that verb forms and prepositions fit the construction, while retaining the generally clear sentence control shown here.

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