Band 5.0 IELTS Writing Task 2 Model Answer

Overall Band Score: 5.0 · Cambridge IELTS 21 · 2026-10-11

IELTS Writing Task 2 question

Some people argue that primary schools focus too much on formal learning.

To what extent do you agree with this opinion?

How important do you think it is for children to play as well as learn in the primary school classroom?

Give reasons for your answer and include any relevant examples from your own knowledge or experience.

Student answer (Band 5.0)

It is often urged , the primarly schools focused too much on formal learning rather the social activities.

In significant,is very important for kids to study courses related to syllabus more focused on academic rather then social activities For instant, if primary school focused on academic its help childern to make their learning and concept clear and also help parents to identity at what subject their child is weak so, therefore they can work on them for example, if children is weak in maths they can work on from the start.

Nevertheless, it is also very important for childern to participate in social activities instead of just study childern will more socialise better and communicate when their brain is active , schools in generally need to upgrade their standerd like introduce different activities like volley ball, foothball tennis music classs dance classes apparently its help childern to convert their mindset from learning to participate in outdoor activities, or to take a fresh breath. On a positive aspects people also more focused on their academic knowledge aswell,social activities also boost up their mind also Inhence their learning skills faster its also help childern to start focusing on communication skills faster.

Inconclusion, academic knowledge is equally relateble towards social skills its help childern to socalize more and differentiate between whats he or she going to pursue further in future.

AI examiner evaluation

Task Achievement / Task Response: Band 5.0

You address both parts of the question by discussing academic learning and the value of social and physical activities, and your position appears to be that both matter. However, the extent of your agreement with the claim that schools focus too much on formal learning is not stated clearly or maintained consistently. The point that academic study helps identify a child’s weaker subjects is relevant, but it is not developed with enough explanation; the benefits of play are also listed more than explored. The conclusion says academic and social skills are equally related, but does not directly resolve the question. The response is 23 words below the required minimum, which limits the space available to develop and support your ideas. State your position explicitly and add a specific example with explanation.

Coherence and Cohesion: Band 5.0

There is some organisation: the opening introduces the topic, the next paragraph focuses on academic study, a later paragraph considers activities, and a conclusion attempts to summarise your view. However, progression between and within these sections is not consistently clear. For example, the long paragraph beginning “Nevertheless” moves from socialising to a list of sports and classes, then to academic focus and communication skills without clearly showing how each point connects. Linking expressions such as “In significant,” “On a positive aspects,” and “Inconclusion” are inaccurate or do not clearly signal the relationship between ideas. Some sentences also run together, making references such as “its” difficult to follow. Use one main idea per paragraph, organise supporting details in a clear order, and choose accurate linking phrases.

Lexical Resource: Band 5.0

You attempt vocabulary relevant to the topic, including “formal learning,” “academic knowledge,” “social activities,” and “communication skills.” These choices show that you can convey the general subject, but the range is limited and several noticeable spelling, word-form, and collocation errors make parts difficult to understand. Examples include “primarly,” “childern,” “standerd,” and “boost up their mind”; “identify at what subject their child is weak” is also an unnatural expression. Repetition of “children,” “activities,” and “help” further limits flexibility. Build a bank of accurate topic phrases and check spelling and collocations. For example, use “identify which subjects their child finds difficult” and “improve concentration” rather than translating phrases directly.

Grammatical Range and Accuracy: Band 4.5

You attempt to connect ideas in longer sentences, including a conditional example about a child who is weak in mathematics, but the range of sentence structures remains limited and these attempts are often faulty. Errors in verb forms and agreement occur in phrases such as “primary school focused on academic its help children” and “if children is weak.” Articles, plurals, and sentence boundaries are also inconsistent, as in “schools in generally need” and the extended sentence beginning “Nevertheless.” These problems sometimes make the intended relationships between ideas hard to follow. Practise building accurate simple sentences first, then combine them using controlled clauses such as “If a child struggles with maths, teachers can provide support early.” Check subject–verb agreement, articles, and punctuation when editing.

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