Band 6.5 IELTS Writing Task 2 Model Answer

Overall Band Score: 6.5 · Cambridge IELTS 21 · 2026-10-12

IELTS Writing Task 2 question

Some people argue that primary schools focus too much on formal learning.

To what extent do you agree with this opinion?

How important do you think it is for children to play as well as learn in the primary school classroom?

Give reasons for your answer and include any relevant examples from your own knowledge or experience.

Student answer (Band 6.5)

Many people believe that primary schools prioritize more than necessary on formal education. In this essay, I will explain the reasons for which I agree with this opinion and discuss how important it is to let children play in their classroom alongside regular classes.

The evidence that primary schools put too much focus on formal education is the way that primary schools plan their routine. A student has to spend 5-6 hours a day at least at the school. Some primary institues even encourage students to take extra tuition class after school, adding longer hours to their daily routine. Also, they assign tasks to each students that should be done at home after school. This leaves a child with very minimal time to play and enjoy childhood.

Children should be given the opportunity to play alongside studying in classroom is because children are very curious and sensitive by nature. Most children pick up habits at an early stage of life. Putting them through a systematic routine of studying longer hours can have a negative impact on their psychological traits. In most cases, students can build up the tendency of skipping school, or acting sick to avoid school. Having opportunities to play along with regular classes can eliminate this behavior because this will motivate the child to attend schools.

In my opinion, it is important for the primary schools to encourage students play alongside study because it helps the child's mental development. The best way of doing this is to introduct students with educational games such as riddles, puzzles, board games, educational toys etc. This will help the children to engage in educational activties as they will learn by playing.

In conclusion, primary educational institues should review their way of teaching and introduct ways of learning in froms of playful activites to ease the pressure on young students.

AI examiner evaluation

Task Achievement / Task Response: Band 7.0

Your position is clear: you agree that formal learning receives too much emphasis, and you address both the pressure of school routines and the value of play. The examples of long school days, extra tuition and homework support your view, while educational games offer a relevant classroom solution. This meets the task well, with ideas extended and supported. To make the discussion more fully developed, explain more precisely how play supports learning or development—for example, how puzzles build problem-solving skills. The claim that play can prevent children from skipping school is less convincingly supported, so qualify it or add a specific explanation. A more balanced distinction between formal instruction and purposeful learning through play would also strengthen the response.

Coherence and Cohesion: Band 6.5

The response has a clear overall structure: an introduction, separate paragraphs on excessive formal study and the benefits of play, a personal recommendation, and a conclusion. The progression is easy to follow, and links such as “Also,” “In my opinion,” and “In conclusion” help signal the stages of the argument. This is coherent overall, though some cohesion is mechanical and ideas occasionally repeat: the final body paragraph restates the importance of play already discussed in the preceding paragraph. The opening sentence of that paragraph is also difficult to follow because its clause structure is incomplete. For stronger progression, combine related points, use clearer references to earlier ideas, and make each paragraph develop a distinct step in the argument.

Lexical Resource: Band 6.0

You use an adequate range for the topic, including relevant terms such as “formal education,” “psychological traits,” “mental development,” and “educational games.” These choices make your main points clear, and you attempt some less common vocabulary. However, several word-choice, collocation, and spelling errors reduce precision: “prioritize more than necessary on” is not a natural construction, “institues” and “activties” are misspelled, and “introduce students with” is an inaccurate phrase. Some wording is also vague, such as “this behavior,” which could refer to more than one idea. Aim to learn common word partnerships and check spelling and word forms carefully; more precise vocabulary would make the argument sound more natural and controlled.

Grammatical Range and Accuracy: Band 6.0

You use a mix of simple and complex sentence forms, including clauses beginning with “because” and “that,” and most of the argument remains understandable. Some grammatical errors occur, but they rarely prevent the reader from following your meaning. For example, “Children should be given the opportunity to play … is because” has an incomplete and awkward clause structure; “each students” has a number-agreement error; and “encourage students play” is missing the infinitive marker. There are also issues with articles and sentence construction in “at least at the school.” To improve, check subject–verb and singular/plural agreement, ensure clauses have a complete grammatical structure, and review verb patterns such as “encourage someone to do something.”

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