Band 5.0 IELTS Writing Task 2 Model Answer

Overall Band Score: 5.0 · Cambridge IELTS 21 · 2026-10-12

IELTS Writing Task 2 question

Some people argue that primary schools focus too much on formal learning.

To what extent do you agree with this opinion?

How important do you think it is for children to play as well as learn in the primary school classroom?

Give reasons for your answer and include any relevant examples from your own knowledge or experience.

Student answer (Band 5.0)

In this contemporary world, it is irrefutable that a small number of individuals are claimed that study centre should more focus on formal learning. I strongly agree with statement because it provides approprite information to students. However, i think that it is quite crucial for lerners to play as well as learn in the demostic classrom. My preference is explained in the upcoming pargraphs with valid reason and valid reason and proper examples.

The fundamental reason for my inclination is that, the pupils are becoming increasignly telented throughout the world and they should learn more about the formal lerning because it is the way that a person can archived anything that they want. Moreover, formal learning helps scholers into every aspect of daily life an a person become an accomplished in society.

Furthermore, engrosing education content can improve student's consentrations. As a resulyt, a person becomes not only inteligent but also hard working in the school. In addition, it is essential that young generatin can learn as well as play because it provides unwind vibe and a persion can focus more than before. For instance, whenever saturday comes at that time tutors should conduct a competition that a persion can participate and perform well from themselves.

However, it is not overlooked that, academic teachers should provide different types of learning that a person can not feel bored. Moreover, extracurricular activities are also more important it should be improved over the time period.For instance, computer base learning can provide appropriate information to every person and it hels to more consentration on studies.

In sum up, I largely agree with the view statements because formal learning is key of success and it improves pupils concentration and will power in every fields.

AI examiner evaluation

Task Achievement / Task Response: Band 5.0

You give a clear general preference for formal learning, stating, “I strongly agree,” and you also recognise that play is important. However, the response only partially answers the two questions: it does not explain clearly whether primary schools focus too much on formal learning, and the reasons for balancing play with learning are brief. For example, the Saturday competition is mentioned, but its benefits for children’s development are not explained. The point about computer-based learning also shifts back to academic study rather than showing how classroom play should be balanced with it. Develop each main idea with a specific explanation or example, and make your position on both parts of the prompt explicit. The response meets the stated length requirement; eight words copied from the prompt were not counted.

Coherence and Cohesion: Band 5.0

Your response has separate paragraphs and uses signposting such as “The fundamental reason,” “Furthermore,” and “However,” so the reader can identify some shifts in focus. However, the overall progression is not consistently clear: the opening promises reasons and examples, but the body moves between formal learning, concentration, play, extracurricular activities, and computer-based learning without establishing how these points connect. Some linking is repetitive or awkward, including “Moreover” in close succession and the repeated “valid reason” in the introduction. The conclusion restates your preference but does not bring together the discussion of play and formal study. Organise the body around one clear point per paragraph and use links that show the relationship between ideas, rather than relying mainly on transition words.

Lexical Resource: Band 4.5

You attempt a range of topic-related vocabulary, including “formal learning,” “extracurricular activities,” “accomplished,” and “concentration.” However, the usable range is limited by frequent spelling errors and inaccurate word choices or collocations, such as “unwind vibe,” “computer base learning,” and “improves pupils concentration.” These errors sometimes make the intended meaning difficult to follow. Several words are also repeated, particularly “person,” “learning,” and “appropriate,” which reduces precision. Aim to use familiar vocabulary accurately before adding less common expressions, and check spelling carefully. More precise phrases for classroom play, children’s development, and academic instruction would help you express your ideas clearly and avoid awkward combinations.

Grammatical Range and Accuracy: Band 5.0

You use some simple sentences and attempt longer structures with “because,” “Moreover,” and “not only…but also.” However, the range is limited, and attempts at complex sentences are often faulty. For example, “a person become an accomplished in society” has problems with subject–verb agreement and sentence construction, while “it is essential that young generatin can learn as well as play” does not form the clause correctly. There are also recurring issues with articles, plurals, and punctuation, as in “formal learning is key of success” and the comma after “inclination.” These errors can make the reader pause to interpret your meaning. Practise building accurate sentences with one main clause and a clearly connected supporting clause, then check agreement and sentence boundaries.

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