Band 5.5 IELTS Writing Task 2 Model Answer

Overall Band Score: 5.5 · Cambridge IELTS 21 · 2026-10-12

IELTS Writing Task 2 question

Some people argue that primary schools focus too much on formal learning.

To what extent do you agree with this opinion?

How important do you think it is for children to play as well as learn in the primary school classroom?

Give reasons for your answer and include any relevant examples from your own knowledge or experience.

Student answer (Band 5.5)

In recent times, many individual argue that primarily schools are focusing more on formal learning. I believe, some subjects are essential for children's academic development. Focusing more on traditional learning can be harmful. Play-based activities are equally important because they help children develop social and environmental skills.

On on hand, formal learning provides children with the basic knowledge they need for their future. Classrooms lessons help children to learn, develop concentration, discipline and the ability to follow instructions. For instance, without sufficient knowledge the children will struggle to acquire the skills required at higher levels of education.

On the other hand, I strongly believe that play should be an important lesson of primary students. Young children generally learn more effectively when they are actively involved in enjoyable activities rather than spending long periods listening to teachers. To give a quint essential example, in my young childhood I would also like to learn more about basketball thing as I love that sport much rather than attending my classes.

In conclusion to this, although formal education is necessary for building academic skills, but I believe that excessive reliance on it is undesirable. Combining traditional lessons with enjoyable plays will be much supportable for the children to grow academic skills faster.

AI examiner evaluation

Task Achievement / Task Response: Band 5.0

You present a relevant position: formal learning is necessary, but relying on it too heavily is undesirable, and play also matters. This addresses both questions, and the point that play can make learning more engaging is relevant. However, the response is under the required 250 words, which limits how fully you can explain and support your ideas. Several points remain brief: the benefits of formal lessons are listed, while the basketball example focuses on your personal preference rather than showing clearly what children learn through play. Develop each main idea with a specific explanation or example, and make your degree of agreement explicit from the introduction onward.

Coherence and Cohesion: Band 6.0

The response has a clear overall arrangement: an introduction, contrasting paragraphs on formal learning and play, and a conclusion. Transitions such as “On the other hand” help signal the change in viewpoint, and the reader can follow the main line of argument. Some linking is mechanical or inaccurate, however: “On on hand” is faulty, and “In conclusion to this” is an awkward transition. The conclusion also repeats the contrast without adding a clear final implication. Improve progression by linking each example directly to the paragraph’s main claim, and use a wider range of natural referencing and transitions rather than relying mainly on set phrases.

Lexical Resource: Band 5.5

You use some relevant topic vocabulary, including “formal learning,” “academic development,” “concentration,” and “discipline,” and the meaning is generally understandable. There are also attempts at less common expressions, but several are inaccurate or unnatural: “quint essential example,” “basketball thing,” “enjoyable plays,” and “much supportable” do not express your ideas precisely. “Primarily schools” is also an unsuitable word choice for primary schools. These choices make parts of the response less clear and limit the range’s effectiveness. Aim for accurate collocations and use vocabulary that describes the educational benefit of play, such as cooperation, problem-solving, or physical development.

Grammatical Range and Accuracy: Band 5.5

You attempt both simple and more complex sentence forms, including the contrast in “although formal education is necessary … excessive reliance on it is undesirable.” Most ideas remain understandable, but some grammatical errors affect accuracy. For example, “many individual argue” has a number-agreement error, “On on hand” contains a repeated word, and “although … but” uses two contrasting conjunctions where one is needed. There are also problems with articles and sentence construction in “Classrooms lessons” and “I would also like to learn more about basketball thing.” Check agreement, articles, and conjunction patterns carefully, then proofread for repeated words. More consistently accurate complex sentences would strengthen control.

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